Monday's Thoughts

Today is the first time its actually snowed during the daytime this winter here in NOVA. I like the snow, its exhilarating. What I don't like is snow on the ground long enough to get dirty. In fact, I am pretty sure snow should only exist for a few days at a time, then it should be 75 degrees and sunny. That is one of the most confusing things to me about living were there are seasons. If its winter, even if its sunny out it will still be freezing cold. The sun was out the other day and it was in the teens. In CA, it might be cold for a few days, but once the sun really comes out, its warm again (even if its "winter"). Already the sun has come out today after this short-lived snow fall. Now the snow will melt, even while its still beautiful. Then it will just be nasty cold outside with no reward for the weather.

After being the President for eight years, what would you feel like the day before you left office? Especially when the hope of the nation is on removing you and replacing you with the smooth new guy? What would you do? Would you be satisfied, even if many hate you? Would you be in regret? Would you just be so excited to not be president, or would you be sad. I would hate being president. It is pretty much near the top of my most undesirable job-list. But I would be curious to feel what Bush feels today. Just one day, and not necessarily a very influential one at that.

Although Inauguration always falls at the same time, near Martin Luther King Jr. Day, this year it seems remarkably odd that the days fall back to back. There have just been so many references tying Obama and Martin Luther King Jr. that it seems like it should be a set up. Yet in reality, its normal. Weird.

I read a qoute today I liked on my Starbucks cup. It was pretty much "The person who will someday walk on Mars is alive today. Its probably a two year old little girl in China." I like the quote on the picture, too.

Excitingly, I went through my boxes of Avi's old baby clothing to pick out anything unisex. It turns out I have a lot more unisex clothing than I was aware of. On a negative note, almost all of it were white onsies or tees to wear under something. But that's okay. Someday, someone baby boy of ours is coming and I have apparently started "nesting." I have a lot of thoughts on this, whether it is the pros and cons of where to set up the nursery, the back and forth desires of wanting another baby now and then not, and unknown feelings about having a boy. But, no matter what I think now, it will someday be irrelevant. Someday I will have another child I can't imagine not having. That will be a good thing.

Have you ever thought of how weird worship music is? If your not accustomed to it it would make no sense. Not only does it sound like confused love songs for someone who doesn't exist, but your also pledging all your everything to the non-person, claiming to bow down or dance to them. Its pretty dramatic. Only when you force yourself to remember forms of religion have been around forever is there even a context to try to make sense of it. Maybe being able to imagine some foreign stone-aged people bowing down to an idol is a start in understanding. But then moving that to being a current devotion, that people actually worship God, who is not an idol and is unseen: its wild. It doesn't fit within Western Culture at all. If you tie in Judeo-Christian culture to the Western culture, okay. Then it starts becoming more logical. If you believe and worship God, then it goes beyond logical; its personal, expressive and entirely isn't weird. That is the category I fall into. But it must be so strange to hear worship music through the worldview of Agnostic-Western Culture, a worldview many people I know have. Sometimes it just amazes me that my worldview is so different from those I am around, as it makes so much sense to me. And I guess in this way I am part of the world, but not of it. We see the world through different shades (to put it lightly).

Don't Go For The One

Good Advice

Oh Boy!

I forgot to post our happy news. At my 20 week sonogram we found out we are having a BOY. Yep. The male species. A Mr. Johnny John Johnston. Very exciting.

And for those of you who are wondering (based on a previous post), I am glad I found out the sex but I don't think we will again. I am very happy its a boy, as that way it makes it useful that we know its a boy. And in the future if we have more children, I think I will go back to the being surprised method.

Home Again!

We have arrived at our NOVA home once again after an almost two week vacation. By the end of the first week I was thinking I was ready to come home. Yet sticking it out for another day or two threw me into my "I live from a suitcase" mode and I went into thinking that I didn't actually have a stable home. Its kinda like how animals revert into hibernation although it is nothing like hibernation. I'd call it "Hobo-mode" except that reminds me of the name of a computer program. Anyways, by the time we started on our way back I was mostly incredulous that we have a place to live. Walking into our front door was even weirder. I was sure I had never lived in a place that looked like it, let alone put together by me to look the way our home does. Or maybe it was because our house was spectacularly clean (thanks to Deborah and family!) and the floor was unusually toy-free.

Josh helped me visualize our Christmas vacation through a Google-Earth lens. Zooming into various locations throughout Michigan and then out again, seeing the people, personalities and activities in each place really helps you mentally capture how small our worlds really are in the grand-scheme of the world. And now I am zoomed back into my Northern Virginia world, where I shop at the same stores, drive the same circuit and often talk to the same people. Its all rather odd, really. It seems trite. Yet, this blog entry is not to discuss my thoughts and feeling since being back (although, in case you couldn't tell that's REALLY what I actually want to be writing about now). I figured its only fair to give a brief overview of our trip first, as some have been asking.

Firstly, we had an amazingly easy trip to Harbor Beach, MI. Avilynne was an angel on the 10+hr. drive in between two snow/ice storms the Saturday before Christmas.

We stayed in Harbor Beach with Josh's adoptive family, the Hill family whom he went on a missions trip to Guatemala with when he was a teenager. Since then he has enjoyed spending the holidays with them when he can, and I was able to enjoy the experience. And no, I am not just saying I enjoyed it because I know they might be reading this, but I really did. It was fun, relaxing, connecting and all those good things. They might have adopted Avilynne even more effectively than they adopted Josh. And I am pretty sure Avilynne adopted their cat, to Waffle's chagrin. I learned how to play Aggravation, we made snowmen (and women and pigs), had some jam sessions and I received a plethora of Christmas presents from Josh (to my amazement). The week went by quickly (as all good weeks must go).

After I had officially convinced my wise family (who learns from previous experience) that this time, really, we really really weren't coming to visit......the weather cleared up and we decided to see the Fox family (my aunt, uncle and cousins) in the Upper Peninsula. The trip to the arctic wasn't as nice as the one to the Hill's. There was terrible fog all the way there, equal to a good-day's fog on the central coast. Much of the time you couldn't see a few car lengths in front of us. Avilynne also thought it was a good idea to stay awake when very tired, so she wasn't the most pleasant child. But we made it, and once again we had a lovely time. I am pretty sure its impossible to not have a lovely time in the UP, no matter how cold it is. The people are just to great (along with the REAL Mackinaw Island Fudge Ice Cream). Of course I always delight in spending insane amounts of time with Brittany, my fair maiden, whether in deep conversation or just laying around together. I'm pretty sure she was the only one who said anything of value, because I only remember jibber-jabbing about really important things like depilatory cream at 2 a.m. and wondering why I didn't really have much more to say. Anyways, it was still superb.

On the 30th, we finally got into our car to leave around 5pm and very bravely attempted to make it to Kalamazoo, to Josh's grandparents that night. It was snowing and not so nice of a drive, but we did get there at 2am or so. We stopped for a nice anniversary dinner in some ski-resort looking bay town. It reminded me of a frozen Santa Barbara, and I think I might like to check it out at day-time someday. The time with Josh's grandparents was short, but good. We were also able to see some of his extended family, cousins, aunts, and other relatives whom are somehow relatives as they had a New Year's get-together while we were there.

On New Year's Eve we drove to a Detroit Suburb were we hung out with the Hill family and their extended family for their annual awesome shindig. We were able to see another good friend of ours there, which was sweet. Although we didn't stay at the party until the ball dropped, it was more than well-worth going to.

Lastly, we stayed at this amazing hotel that night. Josh was trying to surprise me, staying at the same Victorian Inn we stayed at last year for our anniversary. Instead we stayed at the Victorian Inn right next door (which was yellow instead of pink). Yet this hotel too was also awesome; the biggest difference being that we traded a full-body massage chair (pink hotel) for a fireplace (yellow hotel). I'm a sucker for huge hot tubs, so I was without doubt a happy camper that night in luxury. I am pretty sure if I become rich someday I will get a massive hot tub before I give the rest of my money to the poor. Because, of course, I am noble like that. Its a nice thought, anyways.

Then we came home.

Okay, for all of you who skipped reading the above description, just look at this map and all your questions will be answered. Maps are sorta like genies. They answer questions, sadly just not with the phrase "Your wish is my command."

Christmas Thoughts

I have felt slightly stressed about Christmas. The travel plans were especially the problem, but now that is seeming more hopeful as josh and I decided we want to make each other happy and be good together as we try to travel with a toddler and an overworked person and a mono-infested 20 week pregnant person. Yes, much more hope! In fact, we might even have a tentative plan (that is pretty impressive for us... really impressive).

Presents are another stressful part of Christmas. I realized mid-week that if we leave at the end of this week, I should figure out Very Very quickly what I will do about Christmas presents.

I love giving presents and getting presents. Really. Its nice. Honestly, though, I hate feeling forced to get a present for someone when I don't have an idea what to get them, or just because I have to. I like giving presents when I feel like they will like it, its not just something that must be given so I will find some crap to give them just for the sake of it. As that is the case, I generally don't want to give presents to whoever I can't find the right present for. Which doesn't leave me much time as I generally forget its near Christmas until its near Christmas. Or that its some one's birthday until the day of their birthday. Even if they are my closest friend or family member, I personally would prefer to not give anything than it not be the RIGHT thing. This doesn't always work, because socially sometimes I can't get over the "not giving" a present to whom I feel I MUST give a present to. And so I do give something to them that they'll probably re-gift next year. And then I feel I wasted money (because I did). Yet I am starting to come out of that and am believing that its okay if I don't get a present for whoever. That's WAY less stressful. Its just stuff anyways, right? Oh wonderful stuff. Yet, in reality, finding the "perfect" gift for someone is such a happy happy thing. I love that. Therefore, its almost worth it to spend all my time finding the "perfect" gift for the few people I would like to get presents for.

I also don't really feel the need to spend a lot of money. Unless I really believe they will love it. But still, if that is the case, I would probably only spend that on my husband as I don't have very much free money to spend on gifts. But, even if I did spend a lot for my husband, he'd probably get mad at me for spending a lot of money on something that isn't what he absolutely needed even if he wants it really bad. He's so funny. Therefore, I almost never ever do that (and don't think I ever have). And hence this paragraph is officially pointless.

I do get sick by the "I deserve" a present mode. Christmas consumerism makes me sick. I greatly enjoy staying away from stores and TV this time of year. I mean, I like presents. I want them, though I am okay with not having a ton. Generally when I do expect gifts I only expect them from close family or friends. And since they are my close family, I feel like they have the right to not give me a present also because we are supposed to be very understanding and I don't want them to get me crap just cause they feel like they have to. Because then they would feel like how I hate to feel, and besides, I don't need crap. Last year my parents gave me a small ethnic rug. It was a nice rug, I liked it. I thought that was all they gave me. Part of me was slightly sad, because if I got a bigger present, it would be from them. But the other part of me was happy that they didn't feel the need to give me something. And I liked that even more than I felt sad. Later, I found out they also gave me a gift-card to get a whole bunch of new clothing. It must have gotten lost in the wrapping and was thrown away. A waste, very true. But all to say, it was a good thing because I was happy thinking that they knew they didn't have to do something special because its Christmas and we are forced to give gifts then.

I like being able to give freely, not forced. Of course, this is my husband's worldview, which drove me mad in the first couple years of marriage. But I think I might be adopting it (though I don't think I can fully do so). I love it that he gives me flowers all year long, but heck, can't you give me flowers on Valentine's day too even though it is forced on you? But maybe I agree, even if I don't fully always like it.

I guess to me Christmas is more of a season than one day. And that season is wonderful because of the people in it, the smells, lights, foods, and music associate with it. I like the traditions that go with it, especially the "religious" ones, as some would call them. I love the nativity story and I hope that the joy of that is passed to my daughter, the joy of the "light of the world" as opposed "I deserve gifts" because its Christmas. Knowing how to do gifts with my kids is a whole new territory I am not too sure I want to set a standard in. I love the fact that my Grandmita never sets a standard with gifts. Sometimes she gives large gifts. Sometimes she sends a card. It reduces the expectation that "I deserve" a gift from her, and it makes it so much more real and heart-felt. I might want to do that with my children. Yet, on the other hand, getting a "big" present once a year like a bike or a doll house was wonderful too, because when else would I ever get something like that? Its an opportunity to give something large and make my kid happy. Yet, the values and expectations I want my children to have has nothing to do with getting presents, so therefore giving to them becomes a fine balance between loving them (which sometimes comes out in the form of giving to them), not spoiling them, and really, teaching them how to love others and be thankful for the blessings they have.

Chinese-ish

I've been violently craving Chinese food of late.

Yes, I crave food typically. Ice cream is always good, as is shrimp (especially with steak). When pregnant I have craved goldfish crackers, cookies, peppermint-coffee drinks, and many other delicacies such as dirt. But I have never craved food with such desire until this week. On Monday, I smelt a whiff of Chinese food, and I pretty much thought I would die if I didn't have any.

I remedied that by having pepper-beef with fried rice, a clementine and an egg-roll. Yet, the craving still hasn't left. I've made my favorite Jotza' (however that's spelled), the fried wantons in spicy chill-paste and soy-sauce). Now I am tempted to cook up some Hunan Chicken, which I have no clue how to make, let alone barely know what it tastes like.

Everything I smell reminds me of China. I was so excited that Chinese restaurant I went to (which we deemed "Cheap Chinese") actually smelt like China. It had the Chinese spices; they were there! They had to be! Mixed with the smell of whatever they cleaned their tables with, it totally smelt like China. Deborah (the chick who lives with us) gave me a cardboard box (how nice of her....j/k....its pretty for wrapping) which has a perfumy smell of various spices. They are more middle-eastern, yet I am sure there is a slight bit of China-smell in the box. I cooked sausage today, I walked into a room yesterday, I held Avi and.....they all freakin' smell like China! Of course, maybe I shouldn't be so surprised. After all, my nose is mostly plugged from my sickness and I have a great imagination.

Last week I read a semi-unhappy book that took place in China. It really had very little too do with China, it was more about a crappy mother/daughter relationship. But the parts that were about China, describing it made me miss that side of the world. When the door was left open the other day, I could hear our Vietnamese neighbor children playing outside. Yes, I realize that although they are Asian they are still not Chinese. But, really, their language is MUCH more Chinese sounding than our own. And hence, it just gave me the feel of being in another country, hearing the sounds outside the windows. It brought up all these happy feelings. I just got a mailer a few minutes ago for Chinese food which had a beautiful classic Chinglish quote on it: "All Special Included Eggroll." Lastly, a good friend of ours is visiting all over China, Hong Kong, and Taiwan this month. Her updates and pictures are great.

All to say, maybe these things are contributing to my food-cravings. Whatever the reason, though, China (not Georgia) is on my mind.

Random

• I heard an entertaining view-point the other day. A little boy was talking to his parent in Target: "Dad, did you know that Michael Phelps is the son of Barrack Obama? No, really, I am serious! I heard it....."
• Avi loves the Christmas tree. She's only pulled it on top of her once so far, but hey, we still have the rest of December for such antics! Her favorite ornaments are these red sparkly balls, that luckily aren't breakable. On the other hand, I broke two ornaments in a matter of seconds. No fair.
• I want to see this: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2008/scream.bloody.murder/
• I get to go to the Dr., yet again, today. Fun fun!
  
• I do not like Tiramisu Coffee Creamer.