What is Going in Life of Late

Life has pretty much been the same ol' same ol' here in Northern Virginia. Not that I am complaining. As usual, I have an obsession, which of late has been my FADs (Friday Adventure Day). I started a blog about these weekly adventures, adding in traveling tips for moms with little kids at www.adventureday.wordpress.com. So far, I really haven't gotten too much done. I am learning a lot about official REAL blogging (not like this personal blog here) which is a whole new set of information to me. Web design, themes, and SLO & SEO  was equivalent to SOS in my thinking when I started! Considering it was kinda throwing off my focus, I think God helped remind me that its all cool and I don't need to be obsessed. And, with that gentle reminder, I am not obsessed! I guess we will see where it ends up now, if anywhere.

Also, as is typical, I am still taking classes. I am so very ready to be done. Which is why it is especially nice that I will be done SOON- three more classes left! I have fun writing papers on poverty, justice issues, international relationships, and interpersonal relationships. I love what I learn, I just hate doing the work to learn it. This coming week I have a huge paper due on intercultural business. Fun, fun, fun! So, if I keep up with my homework after the kids are tucked in to their beds, I should graduate from Ashford University at the beginning of August. Thanks to Josh, the Hills, and Becky for getting me through this! I know I won't regret it!

And, as usual, I am still involved in my church, facilitating a Bible study, hanging out with the people in my SPHERE (and hopefully making a difference in their lives, as they often make in mine) and helping Jill out with L2F Needs Network. Within this past month I've been helping a Pakistani family settle into their new home in America after they fled religious persecution. L2F, other community members, and people in churches have almost entirely provided everything they need. Also, we collected, packed-up, and had a team deliver a bunch of stuff (baby necessities and medicine) to an area in Haiti which was very close to the earthquake epicenter, and is not very reachable to large relief organizations. Here is a cool video about it:





In addition, I have been trying to create a home-garden. Its a fun activity for us to do outside and, yes, it was my obsession just prior to the Adventure Day Blog. I think my obsessions are always semi-creative (music, cooking, blogging, painting, gardening) which might mean I can blame them on my partial artistic personality.  I am even on the map as a Triscuit Home Garden! Wow, how THRILLING! Josh has even been adding to the flowers and vegetables, by practicing his slingshot off the porch, to his targets. Okay, I guess he doesn't shoot my plants, but its nice to all have something fun to do in the same area together outdoors.


Lastly, and most importantly, I've been taking care of the kids. I like them. They are growing up. Maybe in honor of Josiah's first birthday next month I'll actually write out his birth story! He still has no teeth, but he is cruising around pretty good. He is a happy baby. Sweet little Avi is a mischievous lover of her brother. I don't even know how to begin to describe Avilynne these days. Sometimes she makes my heart melt, yet other times I just want to lock her outside of our house. She is trying very hard to speak English, repeating our pronunciation of words over and over. I am terrible at pronunciation, as is she. But, unlike me, she is improving. Here is a link to a Spring 2010 photo album of them.

As always, if you haven't, please support Thai Song, and what is going on in the makings of this awesome inspired fair-trade organization. Buying a bag, which these sweet women create from nasty trash, helps change lives! Feel free to check out and support the co-director (yes, my cousin's) blog at: http://brittanyfox.missionsplace.com

So, these are the updates on the Johnston Family of late!

The Targeted Objective

I went to Target the other day. Ironically, I was thrilled about going, although I knew deep down in the pit of my stomach that it would be a terrible disaster, as most prolonged shopping trips toting two tiny tots become. I know buying things shouldn't make one happy, but I have to say, the act of getting out of the house does make me happy. Sadly, in NOVA, the only locations a person toting the tiniest of kids can 'successfully' go to (at least on a rainy day) are only places you buy crap at (i.e., stores).

I planned well; I would try to quickly get the "essential" items done with and save browsing for what else I needed for later. Just in case. One of my main objectives was to get a wedding present for a couple we know. Yet, when I finally checked through the line, I realize I completely fell-short of reaching that main objective. Apparently the myriad of soap, juice, and toys around me forced me to forget. Mind you, so far I actually had successfully made it through the shopping trip. Of course Avi was hungry, tired and whinny while Josiah was on the verge of waking up hungry. But, I although I stood on the verge of said cliff, we had not yet fallen off. In fact, hungry children could maybe be used for my benefit: I could let Avi eat and scribble while I would fed Josiah in the adjacent food area. During these precious moments I could attempt to relax, sip my coffee contentedly and possibly even be able to read a few lines in my book! Yet such daydreams never last long enough. I woke up to the cashier handing me a receipt who's total did not include that all-important present. And, there were unhappy children in my cart.

Did this deter me? Oh no, I was in denial, not following wisdom's whisper. I still thought I could make it to that possibly relaxing dream in the stupid food court. So quickly I got their registry list, found something on it and a few other random things which I could make into a fun present, and went back to the check out.

Well, actually, it took me forever to find their registry for some odd reason. I am not too sure if it was because I was just not smart enough to know the names of my friends, or if it was because Avi kept running behind the return counter in hopes of playing it off as an employee to get a paycheck. And, "quickly" finding stuff wasn't as quick as quick is actually defined. To be more accurate, I would say that we moved faster than two kids and I generally do. Which, you can imagine, is not exactly quick or fast. So, by the second time at checkout, Josiah is screaming. Avi keeps running and disappearing down the aisles. Or she is throwing a tantrum while flinging herself out of the shopping cart (it doesn't help that she knows how to unbuckle her strap and has no fear of falling). In other words, I was the lady with THOSE kids. Whose kids really just needed some sleep, food, and in the case of the older one, maybe a good spanking.

To my dismay, the registry item kept showing up as not on the registry and as more expensive. While going "quickly" through the store the second time, I did take a moment to double check that I had the right thing. And the checkout lady also thought it was right, as we re-read the item description multiple times. Eventually we realized that I did get the right thing but the wrong size. You can imagine that at this moment I felt extreme dismay. Luckily, while noting my unhappy feelings, a profound idea hit me: to my left, hanging in perfect rows, were lovely plastic cards. Right then gift cards seemed like an answer from heaven to a question I refused to ask.

After all, I could have gotten them a gift card the first time I realized I missed my targeted objective at Target. I was bitter because I was so excited to give a REAL present of fun stuff; I had a creative idea for one! But I got them a gift card. And everyone was happy: My screaming children stopped screaming shortly afterwards, as I gave them food. My kids were happy, as were the people around us having to hear my kids cry. The newlyweds were probably even more happy with a gift card than actual presents. Everyone was happy but me. Go figure. Suck it up Elisa! One moment less of creativity on my part brought peace and happiness to many. These are the times I get what it means to put others interests before your own. But I wouldn't be surprised if I find myself in almost an identical situation next week. I easily fall into denial that everyone can't do what I want them too : )

An Essay on Personalties in Jobs

(Note: The first two paragraphs are "blah, blah, blah" explanations of the theory. Only the last paragraph is personal)

John Holland's theory on personality in the workforce in based on six various categories of people. Holland's hypothesis is that the occupation that best matches our personalities is the one in which we will be the most successful and satisfied at. He also believes that we each tend to choose the occupation that best matches our personalities.

To summarize the six personalities, firstly, there is the Realistic Type which is aggressive, physical, and has low interpersonal skills (taking jobs such as a mechanic or repairman). There is also the Investigative Type (abstract, thinking, enjoying challenging tasks, and low in social skills such as a scientist); there is the Artistic Type (an example being a graphic artist as they prefer to be unstructured, have individualized activity, and are often asocial) and there is the Social Type (people-loving, needing attention, dislikes ordered activity, and chooses services jobs such as education). Lastly there are the Enterprising Type and the Conventional Type; the former likes to be in charge, organizes, and leads such as a manager or entrepreneur. The later could be an office assistant as they like subordinate roles, guidelines, and are precise (Boyd and Bee; 105-106).

If you want, here is a short free online version of the Holland Code Test (Which helps categorize your work personality based on how you answer the questions): http://www.roguecc.edu/counseling/HollandCodes/test.asp

I thought Holland's theory made a lot of sense as I read through the personality types. My electrical engineer husband fit the Investigative Type personality perfectly; then I read that they are often engineers. Go figure! He is extremely satisfied in his career. I, on the other hand, often find myself doing Conventional Type jobs which I am normally very unfulfilled as a person in, so much so that when offered a Conventional Type job position recently I refused it although I knew I could do it just fine. I love doing art, yet I can't handle being alone in it. This is because my work personality is firstly the Social Type (then secondly Artistic); I often do not feel fulfilled and content in life unless I purposefully add large doses of unscheduled human interaction to my day, especially if its helping or teaching people. In my current job as a "Domestic goddess and World Changer" (my title according to my business card, at least) I often find myself doing work which fits in most of these categories; there is basic housework and chores (Realistic), dealing with paperwork and schedules (Conventional), managing those in my household and groups I am involved with (Enterprising), and all types of unstructured creativity for various reasons (Artistic). Yet, unless I am doing things that fall into the Social Type of job personality, I am normally discontent and unmotivated to work. Thereby I tend to be more unsuccessful in what I do than being successful at it. I guess I agree with Holland's theory, then. I can do many types of work, and when it is my responsibility I will try to do my best at being faithful in whatever job I have. Yet, I am most successful and most satisfied doing jobs which are the "Social type"or at least artistic in nature, due to who I am as the person God made me to be.

That the Cookie Says & What I Just Might End Up Doing

Now I'm not too sure if God speaks through fortune cookies, but today I got one that said:

"You are capable of tremendous creativity."

In the past month or so I have been questioning God about what He wants me to do with my creativity, and I think I have the answer. Actually, I think I had the answer and since then I've been questioning if that is really what I should do because I doubt my creativity. You might have heard me say before that I am not an artist so much as a creative person who's creativeness sometimes comes out as art. Art has a difficult definition. Is it in the production? Must it require skill? Who determines aesthetic value? Part of the reason I love the movie Mona Lisa's Smile is that Julia Roberts challenges our paradigm of art; something which cutting edge artists and musicians are always doing.

Do I make art? I'm not always so sure. Some people might love it as art. I have no doubt others don't consider it as such. Its hard to set a value for your art and proclaim yourself as an artist, vying into the community of people seeking the same pedestal. These people who are also amazingly self and others critical, often emotional, and are constantly begging for worth at the same time they are oozing pride. Artists really are just a unique brand of people. Really. Go meet yourself an artist if you don't know one, and imagine surrounding yourself with that type of people. I am not too sure I want to go back into that world and set myself up as an artist.

Yet at the same time I think I might have stumbled across what it seems I should do. I am always coming up with new ideas of what I should "do" which I am pretty sure is why I shouldn't have done any of them. Whether a lawyer to fight for human rights, a teacher to reproduce my worldview, a writer to sneak ideas into the minds of the masses......I am always convinced I should do a new activity. I know I am a visionary, and some of the visions I have I really do hope to do someday. They are tucked away within my heart for another time. Either which way, I am constantly driven by the calling I believe God has given me to "change the world." What's really ridiculous is that I actually believe that is what I am supposed to do, unlike, I am guessing, 98% of the population who is like "sure, whatever."

How the heck do you change the world? I really don't know how to do that. I generally used to think big, until I moved to Ashburn. Then I started feeling so hopeless and fighting the phrase "just change your corner of the world." Okay, I have become okay with that idea as long as it is one corner at a time *smile*. I guess I've known for awhile that my life is supposed to do with my family (Josh, Avi, baby & extended family), creativity (art and music), and something international (very vague, I know....travel, missions, cultures, international justice issues). Also somewhere in there is loving people, and helping other people with their struggles and all the things I am gifted at doing (whatever those might be at whatever time). But generally, over the times I have sought God about what I am supposed to do with my life, this is what He has showed me.

Honestly, for the most part, since I have moved to Ashburn, I know I have been establishing my family and have been growing by leaps and bounds in maturity, humility, selflessness, not finding my identity in what I do and a ton of other things. Okay, maybe none of you see that, but really, if you could compare me with how bad I was before in these ways, you'd see a difference (even if I'm still bad now). On a not so positive note, I have also grown more reserved in self-conscious way, struggle with depression and purposeless and have stopped playing and writing music to a large extent. Yet it seems maybe, just maybe, I am moving into a new season.

Okay, moving beyond my unnecessarily huge preface: So, what is it? What am I going to do? So this is what I've been pondering. I collect old furniture and such people needlessly throw away in our area. I love to paint them and refurbish them. If I could sell them as art, I could make a profit. If I could make a profit, I could help by giving money to all the international issues I care so much about and want to make others aware of. Therefore I am changing the world (although not in a massive way) by taking my creativity, using it to bless the nations, and all the while still able to invest in and care for my family first. And, on top of which, it is actually possible, like now! Generally I come up with these things that I'd have to change a lot, go back to school to add to my education, and are often conflicting with other important things in my life (such as having another baby). This has to be the first time that this has not been the case.

I am not too sure I even remember how this idea came to be, except it suddenly came to me while lying in my bed one night, unable to fall asleep. Since then it has taken a greater form. I've been thinking over it a lot, planning how it would work, talking about it with Josh and some other people, and praying about it. I have my doubts if it would work. I often wonder why anyone would buy my work in the first place. People have before, but not enough for this to seem like a promising endeavor. I have put something on Craig's list and it hasn't sold. Part of me has been doing this as a Gideon's fleece. Therefore I wonder if I should take it as a sign from God I shouldn't do this or if I am not trusting God by using this as a Gideon's fleece when everything else He seems to be saying is go for it. There is a lot more personal stuff in how God has been speaking to me, and I won't go there now. But all to say, I keep getting a vibe that God wants me to step out, trust Him to do this big thing of selling my art, and see my worth in Him. I kinda like that idea. It gives me shivers as it is so....dangerous. We like to ask God to give us big visions, not really to have the faith for them to come about. So, although this is actually a very possible reality for my life right now, its still big enough to make me need a big good God. Its exciting to be on this limb.

So, there is my idea. I guess by sharing it on my blog I am taking another step forward by making it public. Now that I've got that over, hopefully I'll find the time to share with you the plans of how I'll actually maybe do this. Exciting! Yey!

Colour Light

Colour Light
July 16th 2008

If I had to paint your heart,
What colour would it be?
Red or gold or molten,
Or honey-bee sweet in marigolds?

If I had to hold your hand,
What pictures would that paint?
Slow streams of bluish liquid,
Or quickity-splashes of daydreams?

When I see your mind,
What feelings will I feel?
Will I feel my favorite colours?
Will I feel my heart be faint?

Tingles up and down my spine
Roses light I wish to find
On that bed of water, dear
There they are when you swim near!

I sing
sing
sing
that you were near

I sing
sing
sing
that you still are:

And when I think
That all is lost
I'll sing of the colours you have made.

EXPRESSIONISTIC*

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*EXPRESSIONISTIC*

You paint. You draw. Your a graphic artist. You do photography. You sculpt. You write. You do drama. You dance. You sing. You compose music. You record. You play the bass... the guitar.... piano.... drums.... french horn....

You are talented. You are creative. What if there was more to it? What if you possess these abilities for a greater purpose?

Communication is essential to humans. We cannot survive without it; it is one of the greatest distinctions between humans and animals, and it is also the main factor separating people groups. Art is a language.

Communication is also essential to the character of God. He has communicated to us though His word, the Bible. He communicates to us through His Spirit, and He has communicated love to us by sending Jesus to meet us on earth, sacrificing Himself in our place so we can live eternally. He communicates through His Spirit, other people, and creation. Whether you are very aware and intimate with God speaking to you, or you are completely unaware, skeptical such communication is happening, or somewhere in-between, He is still directly speaking to your heart, “knocking at your heart’s door.”

We have a chance to communicate with God. How do we respond to God? Our art is a form of expression, a form of communicating with God. It can be a type of prayer, as prayer is simply talking with God. He understands what you are saying, even when you do not have the perfect words, or no words to do so. Expression is what this group is all about. Webster defines Expressionism as:

“n. A theory or practice in art of seeking to depict the subjective emotions and responses that objects and events arouse in the artist.”

This does not mean we should create in the form of the expressionist movement of the 1900’s (a distinctive artistic style), but in this group we mean communicating what you are feeling to God. Whether you are very creative and artistic, or you are just experimenting, God sees through your works to the depth of your heart. This is an opportunity to seek God; an opportunity to connect with Him. Even if your not too sure you want to “connect” with God, acknowledging and being open to Him can be a good place to start.

What if it was really not about us? Lets take this concept of expression a step further:

Do you think God gave you the gift of art, in whatever form or fashion, just for yourself? What you communicate to God can drastically help other people do the same. How many times have you heard that song on the radio that finally put into words what you were feeling? Seen a photograph which has finally portrayed life as it is? Drank of a poem which brought you understanding? Imagined yourself in a painting which brought you peace? God desires that we use what He blessed us with to bless others (following the example of Abraham, our “spiritual father” in Gen. 12). The expressions of our heart might be the very things someone else, despite background or belief, might need to connect with God. It can be the avenue people are looking for which they could have never found (made) themselves. We can use it in church, we can use it in the community. Possibilities are endless. We can get beyond ourselves with our talents to bless others.

Lets take it just one more step deeper....

If you already know God, Do you think He gave your craft(s) or creativity so you could make a name for yourself? This question leads us to the greatest way we can use our gift of creativity. We have the potential to praise and worship God through our art. God’s greatest purpose is to bring Himself glory, basically, fame. This isn’t because He is selfish. It is because He is deserving of this in a way our minds cannot understand. Throughout the Bible, we can see that He brings Himself fame mainly through bringing people back into relationship with Him in His sincere love and grace, and also conquering evil. These both make Him look good and bring Him praise. His creation, God’s own personal works of art, bring Him fame also (Romans 1). Instead of making a name for ourselves with our art, we can make God “famous” by our artistic expressions. Art can show beauty and mystery, both which are characteristics of God found in the Bible. It can be used to respond to Him and His goodness and greatness. One definition of worship is “to exchange love with God; responding to who He is and what He does.” It is common for people to think of worship as just music, or a weekly church service. Biblically, Worship is responding to God in thankfulness, love and deep awe (fear). This should be done in our lifestyle, obedience to God, to the extent even as “a living sacrifice....pleasing to God (Romans 12:1).” It also can be in music, (often with body movements accompanying, like dance), which is the most common way in the Bible, with more than a hundred examples. One of the first occupations in the Bible was a musician, right along with agriculture, livestock, and industry (Gen. 4:21).” But worshiping God is not limited to stringed instruments, percussion, song writing (poetry), and singing. Many people worshiped God through dance, an example being David’s dance in 2 Sam. 6. Drama is found in the Bible to express God’s word. Even a play backdrop was drawn to help (Ezek. 4). In Exodus (31 and 35) God specifically gave people the ability to design artistic works for creating the tabernacle (the center for worshiping God before Jesus came). These were generally visual arts, like sculpting, engraving, carving, tapestry making and even fashion designing. These and others were also used for creating the Temple (the later and more permanent version of the tabernacle). If other visual arts like photography and graphic design were around, I have no doubt they would be on the list too. A Biblical judgment on an evil people was to devoid the people of the richness of the arts, both musicians and “the craftsmen of any craft (Rev. 18:22).” This shows that God is very aware of the life art brings to humanity; it surely must bless Him. Lets use our creativity (or even lack thereof) to bring glory to God.

Compiled by Elisa Johnston, examples derived with the help of “The Heart of the Artist,” and of course the Bible.