Beginning

Beginning
Current mood: groggy

I started school this past week. I have been so consumed for the past month of sheer busy-ness that it is nice to know I am finely going to be put into a routine. Though it is not any calmer or less busy : )

So far it has been odd. I am married. I am at a different stage of life than most undergrad students. Most are younger than me, though by not much. Still there is a noticable gap in maturity, more so in the thinking. I have yet to continue analizing what makes a married college student different from a single one. But I do know that sometimes I am so relieved to have a ring on my finger, knowing I have someone I belong to, a home, and a church family. It is such a great reasurance in the midst of thousands of young people swirling around, hoping to attract someone. Its like a world of magnetics. Some attact, some push away. But most people are lonely. You can tell. We are a lonely people. Other times, honeslty, I will turn my ring under, seeing how it is also seems to magically work like mace. I don't want to lie; I don't want to deny my commitment, either. I just hope the person next to me will be willing to have a conversation with me, not ignoring the possiblity of friendship just because I am married. Its been so hard to meet people, and that ones I have, I wonder if there is any point to why I did. I don't really feel like being part of chess club, debate team, or the gay rights activist group. There are apparently multiple Christian clubs on campus, but they all meet at night. I got a brochure from one of them and I realized why people think Christians are stupid. It was a classic christian girl, very modest with no style, and a smile plastered on her face. I couldn't help but wonder how often I have looked like that. All to say, no offense to them, but I went to find a different one. There was a fraternity of them. Firstly, I make fun of frats/sororities, so that didn't seem a good match, along with the fact I was skeptical that they were "christians." The InterVaristy group doesn't seem like it is really up and running there, and the Campus Crusades seemed cool, but once again, are all at night time events. They actually seem like they might be making an impact there. I did find one other group, and actually talked with some of the people from it. I might try to hook up with them sometime, but I can't go to any of their meetings. So, someday I hope to make a group of friends on campus. Maybe that will end up waiting until next semester, though. I do know one girl who is was josh's co-worker who we are good friends with. She is going to school full time for one year, so its nice to see her every once in awhile when our classes permit.

It has been hard trying to switch life around. I quickly realized I won't get to work at the PCC (The Pregnancy crisis center I am a volunteer counselor at) on a regular basis, I already feel behind on P4N (Passion for the Nations) assignments, and I miss my girls that I nanny for. This weekend I went crazy having a dirty house, and no grocieries because I feel like I have to do all this stuff that josh says I don't (though I don't really believe it) and school at the same time. I get to read, though. Good thing I like to read more often than not. I have not just 1, but 2, no, 3, more, 4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17 books/texts to read in the next three months alone. along with presentations, papers, and tests. One of the books I am reading right now is about the genocide in Rwanda. It blows my mind that the hundreds of thousands of people were brutally murdered with clubs with nails, and machettes.....not just that but the corruption that went behind it, and how the 'Christians' were the ones who played such a huge role for these deaths. I have so much to say already on all the books and class discussions we've been having, but they must wait for a later time.

Happily, this new beginning in my life has been good. Luckly, I am already really liking it, energized by the new ideas, trying learn, while deciphering issues, and discerning truth from lies, and applying things from a spiritural mindset. I think I can feel my brain expanding a 1/8th of an inch daily. Don't worry, I also go to a humble compressing machine everynight so I don't get a big Head. I hope. Anyways, Its been cool. I like it. I am so incredibly blessed to have this oppurtunity. I think most younger people who go to school don't know what its like to think that you'd never be able to do that. For so many years I would have never dreamed I would actually go to a university to study what I want to. I mean, I don't have to be concerned with studying something that will bring in the bacon. I don't have to worry about debt. I am so blessed. I could be focused on surviving. When getting married, I didn't really believe I would go back to school, though I wanted to. Its just hard. I could get pregnant. Then there is trying to live, and the time, and the cost of school, as well as the consideration that this might not profit us in the future. I sure hope what I learn is an investment in the kingdom of God, though. That's what I pray. I am so blessed that josh is excited with me, and is supporting me. He has so much to do with this, and I am so thankful I have such an awesome guy who understands this! As well as encouragement from others. But mostly, I am so thankful to God that He is giving me this oppurtunity. I am so hyped. Anyways, this is a little bit of my life of late.

Currently reading : We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda By Philip Gourevitch Release date: 01 September, 1999

The Gospel of Thrift

The Gospel of Thrift (Stores)
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

I have been thinking about thrift...

'Thrift' started with my mom. We would make a date of scouring all the good thrift stores to find
vintage clothing, or nice stuff for a buck or 2 rather than $20 new. It wasn't a secret. I wasn't
ashamed of shopping at thrift stores, I bragged about it. Of course, when I got older I was
excited to discover others who loved thrift, with some that was the only thing we had in common.
In Hawaii we had a "Boutique" of free thrift clothing. Take some, leave some. It was rad.
In a sense, thrift is an art. 

Honest moment: Okay, I am not too much of a thrifty. I just go every once in awhile. I wouldn't put it in the "hobby" classification, just something to do at times with rewards.

Anyways, I have been pondering this. For the most part in the area I live, I am discovering that thrift isn't exactly the 'thing'. For one, it is crazy expensive. I mean, these people are charging the out the wazooo for some junk! Or I went to the brand name thrift store the other day. Everything was "Banana Republic," "Gap," intermingled with other brands which I have never been classy enough to the names of. Still, the retro thrift isn't so much the thing (though I can get things that are new, yes, pretend vintage and that is okay if intermingled with other styles). It has taken me more than a year to begin to believe this. As I wear the perfectly worn old tee with the paint peeling off, I am noticing that no one else is. There are the Tennis-skirt moms and cute-heals business women. I am not either one of those, though I have discovered the tennis skirts are very comfy to take walks in, and I have even graduated to wearing shoes in the winter which are apparently tasteful enough to be complimented. But I find it odd that Thrift isn't cool. Do they not like the old pictures? The peeling paint? The barely-there material? Or yellow armpits? Okay, I understand that last one.

I am starting to see this in a new light. I sometimes feel self-conscious in my old tees. At least I know when it isn't the appropriate social norm to wear them. I can look down at my shirt and actually be aware that it looks old. Not like cool-old. But moldy old (as for a lack of a better word). I have lived in denial for so long, not seeing the reality of the state my tee-shirt was it. No wonder people think it looks old. Its because it is. Such an odd realization.

This experience of "understanding" brought me to a new level of knowing God. You see, we are like thrift. We are old. We are yellow armpited. We are worn out. We are used. We have stains on us. This is the reality. Others might see us that way. Then others might think we are "cool" looking because they are "cool" looking. When really, we might both look like crap but be in denial of such a factor. All to say, though God sees us how we really are (He knows the reality of our situation) He still accepts us. Jesus paided quite the price to buy us from the thrift store. It is a weird image to think of me as an old-tee shirt with Jesus blood filling one of those ghetto cash registers. He thinks we are cool enough to buy. He loves us. In fact, He was our designer, making us back when we were pretty. After He buys us He won't just hide us saying "Dude, my creation looks BAD, totally not like how I wanted it to be, I can't let anyone see this so I'll tuck it away in this drawer for no one to see forever." Nope. He doesn't do that. Instead He is like, "I am so going to wear this for EVERYONE to see!" So what makes us cool? Looking like a bad tee-shirt on Jesus' spirit who lives in us? Or the fact that its HIM who wears us around, loving us this much, entrusting us this much to let the real beauty, God's character, shine from behind that shirt. The gospel of thrift.

Don't fret. I am not planning on entirely giving up thrift; I still appreciate its goodness. I still like it, even though I now have the talent to let myself see it through a new lens. Oh, yes, Wonderful thrift! After all, I guess Jesus likes thrift :)

Currently reading : Mere Christianity By C. S. Lewis Release date: 05 February, 2001

Passion of the Haystack

Passion of the Haystack
Current mood: excited
Category: Life

Preface: For those who have already heard me in my passionate physco worldview which blossomed at home, adapted at YWAM, it is now growing it deeper and deeper through a new class, Perspectives, which I've been taking. I am dedicating this to those back home, the ReVoLuTiOn, though I believe it is for all of us.

Sometimes we think it won't happen. Its just day to day life, how could that ever change our little corner of the world? How can so few people change the dynamics of a city? Or a region, of the world? Well, I can assure you first of all YOU NEVER WILL if your trying to be big. I know for us artsy/music people fame is what we crave. And maybe that's just extroverts in general. I don't know about introverts, as I am not one, but if I asked my husband I am sure he would say that's not exactly what he pursues. But Introvert or extrovert, I can say that we want it to be all about us. The way we act, and communicate all goes through this filter marked "me." Sadly the world doesn't revolve around us, or at least everyone else hasn't realized yet it revolves around me. So, Unless our desires change so that we are living not to do what we want to, make us bigger, or become famous....we are never going to get there. Get where? Making God famous. To have this revolution we can't be living to make us big, it has to be to make God big. Did you know that if you study the Bible from Beginning to end, not reading it through the filter of "me" (what do I get out of this), you will discover that God's purpose is to make His name glorified. It makes sense, He is God after all. He deserves it. Its not selfish either, it just comes with His character being God. Did you know that to glorify God is the same thing as making Him famous? That's basically what the Greek and Hebrew meanings of it mean in our modern day English. Make Him famous by helping people to know Him, to come into a relationship with Him where they too can worship Him and make Him famous even more. How can we make God famous if we are trying to live for ourselves, and in a sense, to make ourselves famous? We can't. But let me assure you, the closer you get to God, and the more you know Him and see His purpose, the more you will desire to make God famous.

Okay, now lets get around to making God famous. That is essentially what we are trying to do for our revolution: Making God famous where we are to the ends of the earth. Its possible. It really is. God desires for all people to know Him. He loves them. So of course He will make a way. And He wants to use YOU. Can you do it? Yes. Don't believe me?

Let me tell you a story about a haystack. There once was a haystack in Massachusetts. I am sure it was like most haystacks, excepting some animals had eaten hay from the bottom if it, making a cave-like feature in it. One day, while some college students (yes, young people like you) were out taking a walk, a thunderstorm caught them and they took refuge in this haystack. Now, mind you, these were Christian young men. In fact, one of them was very passionate, he became a Christian at 17 after his dad had been praying for years that he would, and not only that, but that he would give his life to missions (which was unheard of at the time). This dude, Mills, leads them in a discussion of the obligation we have to making God famous. They then took advantage of this haystack and started to pray. Not just for them, through the "me" filter, but for the nations of the world. And that started something. In fact, it started a whole movement. They started the first student missionary society in America: "The Society of the Brethren". I am sure that was a hip and cool name back then, though in our ears it might sound like some disturbed fraternity club. What it was, though, was a group of young people dedicated to making God famous in the world. This started another group: The American Board of Commissioners for Foreign Missions. Now this is important. This was the first Missionary agency in America. Lets review really quickly: This one passionate guy started praying with His buddies. These guys impassioned some others to basically start the whole American movement of thinking beyond ourselves to do what God asked us to: make His name famous in the earth by making followers(disciples) of Him. Started by one young guy! Its not like He planned all this out! And you don't think you can't do something too? If your working to make God famous while following His leading, its a Big Fat Lie if your believing otherwise.

Okay, okay, so what happens next? This all happened in the early eighteen hundreds, less than 100 years since a few protestant Christians were actually thinking about fulfilling the great commission (also started by some young people). William Carey really got this off to a start, saying that we should tell other people in the world about Jesus, to which the English Christians responded "If God wants to save the heathen he can do it without your help, or ours." Wow. They were sosooo compassionate. Anyways, the Haystack people were among the first of the modern Christian world movement. Over fifty years later, two of the kids of one of the missionaries sent out by the above-talked-about society fluffed a few more feathers. So, this movement -you guessed it- was also started by a few young prayerful passionate and determined people. This brother and sister saw how God still wasn't being made famous like He should be. So they started praying. And God got a few other young people around the country praying also. They ended up happening to meet at this Christian conference at a college, again, in Massachusetts. Apparently Massachusetts is the place. So they decided to pray together. The conference wasn't meeting in the evenings, so they asked if they could talk a little then, for those who wanted to come. In fact, they decided that they would have a declaration card also, a declaration to commit your life to God to spread His fame in all the world. They were praying to get 100 people sign it by the end of the conference, which, go figure, happened. They then organized their group a little better naming it the Student Volunteer Movement. It spread. It boomed. Within the next thirty years a hundred thousand students became missionaries or spent their whole lives supporting those missionaries and spreading God's fame where they were at. Note: It was their whole life. In today's population standards, that is equal to 5 million young people. Non-Christian Sociologists have no other name to call this generation in the late 1800's and early 1900's but the missionary generation. I never learned that in history class! In fact, you'd never guess, but the YMCA was one of the major supporters of the SVM, they helped it grow dramatically! Now we just play racket ball and learn yoga or jazzercise there. This movement was so huge that at a secular university, Penn state, over 95f the students were dedicated to missions and evangelism! How cool and crazy is that? Yes, this particular movement died out, but since then there have been other ones.

Now we are in our own. Of course its not known yet, its not in your history book. But we are starting it. In fact it might never be in a history book, because Jesus might come back before it will be written. In our generation it is actually plausible for the whole world to hear of Jesus if we are diligent and follow God. We are not supposed to wait for the end of the world while living our own lives. Biblically, we are supposed to make it come, because Jesus said that He will not come back until His kingdom is preached to all people. That's our job. Not just the extrovert, you introverts are also called to that. This has never been completeable until today, although its still close to 1/3 the world's population. From these history lessons we can see a few major themes.

The first would be prayer. I like this description of prayer attributed to David Wells (whoever He is). Its basically saying that prayer is supposed to be rebellion. Rebellion to what the world considers normal. When we lose heart and don't pray, we are basically saying that everything which we see is bad, not in line with God's will Biblically, and not perfect should be accepted as normal. We are resigning ourselves to say, "yah, this is the way it just is." But it is so not the way it should be! We are to rebel against our desire to live for "me," rebel against the selfishness, drugs, porn, pride, indifference, rebel against the hatred, racism, and lack of us doing things to spread God's fame....etc.... WE are to rebel against anything that is not how God wants it to be. We to fight a revolution in prayer for Lompoc or wherever we live, not resigning ourselves to "I can't do anything." Don't fall for that! Also, when we resign ourselves we are saying that God will not overcome the evil. Now that seems evil in itself to think, because God really can do everything. He Has, and promises to overcome all evil in fullness. WE can't just wait it out until we die, knowing it will get worse, and hope that Jesus will come back soon to rescue the world in all its evil (which He WON'T until we do our job of taking the gospel to everyone). Someone like US must take action. I am not asking you to freak everyone out by doing crazy things. I am asking you to really PRAY. And then do the crazy things God tells you to do after you pray No, seriously, I stink at praying like I know God wants me to. But my lack of prayer comes from 2 things: Not believing that God is Big and Good enough to answer my prayers and believing things are not bad, resigning myself to be okay with the way things are. So on a flip side, If I am to pray, I have to Believe God can change the situation, and I have to believe that He is not famous enough yet, His kingdom sure hasn't come enough yet, His will is not done enough yet, things are not OKAY! Now when I believe these things, I want to pray. Otherwise I am settling. Settling is never okay.

So, the haystack and the missionary generation prayed. They also, like I was talking about earlier, seemed to care more about making God well-known so He could be worshiped than caring about themselves. What is it in your life that keeps you from caring about that more? Let me see....these are a few things on and off at times in my life which I might have cared more about for myself than to do something for God's name to become great (famous) in all the earth: Relationships, Guys, my husband, career, becoming famous myself, people's opinions, getting more money, being comfortable, me in general etc.... Ya. We all deal with these idols. But that's not an excuse to keep holding on to them. Unless we are passionate about making God's name more well-known than we are passionate about living for ourselves, let me reiterate, We will not be world or our corner of the world changers. We will not revolutionize. We will not spread God's name. We will not Care enough to, because we are more important. Our own life, education, career, relationships, comfort.....those are more important than instigating a revolution for the King. A revolution which proclaims "Long live the King and may His name be Glorified in all the Earth!" We too can change the world starting with one haystack at a time.

EXPRESSIONISTIC*

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*EXPRESSIONISTIC*

You paint. You draw. Your a graphic artist. You do photography. You sculpt. You write. You do drama. You dance. You sing. You compose music. You record. You play the bass... the guitar.... piano.... drums.... french horn....

You are talented. You are creative. What if there was more to it? What if you possess these abilities for a greater purpose?

Communication is essential to humans. We cannot survive without it; it is one of the greatest distinctions between humans and animals, and it is also the main factor separating people groups. Art is a language.

Communication is also essential to the character of God. He has communicated to us though His word, the Bible. He communicates to us through His Spirit, and He has communicated love to us by sending Jesus to meet us on earth, sacrificing Himself in our place so we can live eternally. He communicates through His Spirit, other people, and creation. Whether you are very aware and intimate with God speaking to you, or you are completely unaware, skeptical such communication is happening, or somewhere in-between, He is still directly speaking to your heart, “knocking at your heart’s door.”

We have a chance to communicate with God. How do we respond to God? Our art is a form of expression, a form of communicating with God. It can be a type of prayer, as prayer is simply talking with God. He understands what you are saying, even when you do not have the perfect words, or no words to do so. Expression is what this group is all about. Webster defines Expressionism as:

“n. A theory or practice in art of seeking to depict the subjective emotions and responses that objects and events arouse in the artist.”

This does not mean we should create in the form of the expressionist movement of the 1900’s (a distinctive artistic style), but in this group we mean communicating what you are feeling to God. Whether you are very creative and artistic, or you are just experimenting, God sees through your works to the depth of your heart. This is an opportunity to seek God; an opportunity to connect with Him. Even if your not too sure you want to “connect” with God, acknowledging and being open to Him can be a good place to start.

What if it was really not about us? Lets take this concept of expression a step further:

Do you think God gave you the gift of art, in whatever form or fashion, just for yourself? What you communicate to God can drastically help other people do the same. How many times have you heard that song on the radio that finally put into words what you were feeling? Seen a photograph which has finally portrayed life as it is? Drank of a poem which brought you understanding? Imagined yourself in a painting which brought you peace? God desires that we use what He blessed us with to bless others (following the example of Abraham, our “spiritual father” in Gen. 12). The expressions of our heart might be the very things someone else, despite background or belief, might need to connect with God. It can be the avenue people are looking for which they could have never found (made) themselves. We can use it in church, we can use it in the community. Possibilities are endless. We can get beyond ourselves with our talents to bless others.

Lets take it just one more step deeper....

If you already know God, Do you think He gave your craft(s) or creativity so you could make a name for yourself? This question leads us to the greatest way we can use our gift of creativity. We have the potential to praise and worship God through our art. God’s greatest purpose is to bring Himself glory, basically, fame. This isn’t because He is selfish. It is because He is deserving of this in a way our minds cannot understand. Throughout the Bible, we can see that He brings Himself fame mainly through bringing people back into relationship with Him in His sincere love and grace, and also conquering evil. These both make Him look good and bring Him praise. His creation, God’s own personal works of art, bring Him fame also (Romans 1). Instead of making a name for ourselves with our art, we can make God “famous” by our artistic expressions. Art can show beauty and mystery, both which are characteristics of God found in the Bible. It can be used to respond to Him and His goodness and greatness. One definition of worship is “to exchange love with God; responding to who He is and what He does.” It is common for people to think of worship as just music, or a weekly church service. Biblically, Worship is responding to God in thankfulness, love and deep awe (fear). This should be done in our lifestyle, obedience to God, to the extent even as “a living sacrifice....pleasing to God (Romans 12:1).” It also can be in music, (often with body movements accompanying, like dance), which is the most common way in the Bible, with more than a hundred examples. One of the first occupations in the Bible was a musician, right along with agriculture, livestock, and industry (Gen. 4:21).” But worshiping God is not limited to stringed instruments, percussion, song writing (poetry), and singing. Many people worshiped God through dance, an example being David’s dance in 2 Sam. 6. Drama is found in the Bible to express God’s word. Even a play backdrop was drawn to help (Ezek. 4). In Exodus (31 and 35) God specifically gave people the ability to design artistic works for creating the tabernacle (the center for worshiping God before Jesus came). These were generally visual arts, like sculpting, engraving, carving, tapestry making and even fashion designing. These and others were also used for creating the Temple (the later and more permanent version of the tabernacle). If other visual arts like photography and graphic design were around, I have no doubt they would be on the list too. A Biblical judgment on an evil people was to devoid the people of the richness of the arts, both musicians and “the craftsmen of any craft (Rev. 18:22).” This shows that God is very aware of the life art brings to humanity; it surely must bless Him. Lets use our creativity (or even lack thereof) to bring glory to God.

Compiled by Elisa Johnston, examples derived with the help of “The Heart of the Artist,” and of course the Bible.