Avi's Phraseology

Her new phrase of the past couple days has been "Where is kitty? Where did kitty go? I don't know!" and says it over and over again in her cute, hard to understand way.

Today when leaving Josh's friends' home, Josh asked me a question. I said "Oh, I don't care." In the backseat Avi pipped up "I care. I CARE. I CARE!!!" It was so funny; we had no clue she was even listening, why she said that, or that she even knew those words! She regularly comes up with phrases like this that send us reeling. Or, depending, we must attempt to hide our laughter so she won't be offended, confused, or be commended for something bad.

Here is another one: We had a fire going which made a popping noise, as fires do. She looked at us and declared "Fire burped! Fire, it burped!" (Please note, she also calls farting "burping." So I guess that would be a 'butt burp'? Or as she calls it, a bum. So, a 'bum burp'!).

She often jumps up and down declaring "I did it!" and "I made it!" when accomplishing minor or major, good, or not so good, feats. I credit this to my dad, her 'grampy,' who taught her how to play her fun, beloved, "mawn-key" (monkey) game on his iPhone.

When she wants to show us herself, she says "I'm me!" which she then repeats over and over again. Tonight she wrapped a towel around her waist, which I can only guess made her feel like a little princess. Either that, or she was reminiscent of the glories of taking a bath. Whatever it made her feel, she wanted us to take part in her excitement. Josh kept trying to teach her to add in "look at" but she just didn't really get it. So, if you her a little voice saying "I'm me" over and over, it really is a statement of more than just self-awareness. Its more of a 'everybody else be aware of me.'

When my parents came to visit at Thanksgiving, Avi could only say "tanks" for "thank you." We were content with that, as it was a major step-up to actually be vocalizing anything when she previously only would use baby-sign language to communicate this phrase. Yet, my dad quickly got her to say "thank you." So now she makes us melt by saying "Tank-you daddy" and "Tank-you mommy." Its one of those amazingly precious phrases that makes me think of the Grinch that Stole Christmas. How? Well, "The Grinch's heart grew 3 sizes that day . . ." and the picture that accompanies this quote must be exactly what happens to my heart each time I hear her speak her gratitude. Is this why I am a parent?

As the parental units, I am generally referred to as "mom-mom" or "mommy" while Josh is "Daddy." Sometimes we are loved and needed. Yet, other times she likes us to go away. Her "Moove mommy" has been a new one (which needs to be tempered). But we secretly laugh when she tries to push us away, saying this, so she can resume hiding under her blanket, or in the cupboard so she can secretly suck on Josiah's "pass"(pacifier) or take care of her business. The other day she didn't want to go home, so I tried to bribe her with being able to see Josh. Although this normally works, this time she replied with "no, no daddy" and a few minutes later she added to this with "no, no titol" (tickle) multiple times.

She rarely outright says "no!" anymore. I am so grateful for this as when she previously did so it made me crazy. Now she always says "no, no" as if she is wagging a finger at her students in her one-room school house.

She continues to call Josiah "buddy" though she also refers to him as "Boder" (brother). Others are generally "People." A few weeks back she used her classic phrase, as she does countless times throughout the day, "wat is TAT?" while pointing to a group of kids in a parking lot. I told her that those were teenagers, that they were "people." Since then she refers to most others as either a "fwind" (friend) or a people. So, its not uncommon to here "Its a people!"

These are some of her phrases, mannerisms and words. Of course, this barely scratches the surface of Avi-speak, but it will have to do for tonight. So, in Avi-speak I bid you "nite-nite, fwind," while offering you a kiss with smacking lips and protruding tongue.

Parenting: Step one

Something I've been thinking about a lot of late is my parenting goals. Its no secret that Avilynne has totally embraced the infamous Terrible Two's, for anyone who has been around her for a few hours (or minutes, sometimes). Yes indeed, before her actual birthday she threw all sweet innocent babyhood out the window and started livin' it up with drunken sippy-cup binges, screaming, head-banging tantrums and total self-absorption, manipulating the very adults she flirts with regularly. To me, the early dawn of the Terrible Two's feels greatly unfair. A month, let alone a day extra of a toddler with this disease is one too many. But who am I joking? Its not like I was preparing for this although I have been thoroughly warned. Who is ever prepared to find out their child is diagnosed with a terminal illness, even if you are warned?

Of course, that might seem like an exaggeration. Yet, in a since its not, spiritually speaking. The Terrible Two's just might be that reminder to us that our child is not the perfect concoction of our blissful marital love; instead its a little human that is also a little sinner. One time when Avi was acting up my husband sweetly looked at me and declared that those were our genes acting up in her (well, that's my paraphrase). We passed on our least favorable DNA: we fall short of perfection (and typically pretty far from it). I am obviously not a believer in the inherent goodness of mankind. Truly, no biologist, or physiologist who has ever had a two-year old can actually believe that load of crap, can they? All to say, the Bible says that all have sinned, or stated in a way that makes more since- we all are selfish, self-serving and self-focused at our core. Even psychology testifies to this, with the id and the ego and all that jazz. Oh yes, of course we can try to be good and can be successful. But that just isn't going to cut it.

And my daughter makes this truth self-evident. You want to know what she did on my birthday? Yes, my happy birthday!? She threw about fifteen temper-tantrums in the middle of quiet bookstore, and then ran across the store into the joining Starbucks! Some lady came out asking people throughout Barnes and Noble if the kid belonged to them! That was the second time that hour she ran off into oblivion. One time they had to close down part of a store to look for her. Then she was terrorizing Josiah, throwing the merchandise, and somehow I was supposed to carry her, my son, and all our stuff out of the store into the rain, leaving my unpaid for items and coffee behind? Really, I am not giving this story justice by providing you with details. I'll spare you but do know, it was MISERABLE! I wanted to spank her into the next county yet instead I stood there, tantrum after another wishing my child was better-behaved, that people would look on me with grace rather than the contempt they were showing, while desperately wishing I had five more hands and a plug to shove in her mouth. This is not an unusual situation I have found myself in either. Don't misunderstand me, Avi is a wonderful darling. She is a mysterious, exciting and a bubble of joy. But she is also Bad. Very very bad. Yes, her behavior can be bad, but there is something within her that is off too. The same something in all of us that is off which makes us so in need of God, so in need of love and grace amidst consequences and discipline we call life. So, by the grace of God parents everywhere have kindly been given the Terrible Two's as a year to train up our kids so they won't live in those Terrible Two's their whole life long. Or at least to remind us that we sure need some help as parents before we go insane. It happens, you know.

I steam like a pressure cooker that has been sitting on the boiling flame of household affairs. Sometimes I feel like I am about to burst, and the facade of the gentle mother I pretend to be is quickly melting off thanks to my semi-sweet children (semi-sweet like chocolate chips). Hence I've started hitting the books. Yep, I'm asking for advice, watching others intently, discussing ideas and gleaning from the knowledge of those more experienced or more educated on the subject: PARENTING. I am convinced the Terrible Two's were created by God to remind us that producing offspring means more than shoveling food down the pipe while occasionally wiping dirty noses and dirty bums (although that is important too). They are a reminder that we need a lot of help, and that our responsibility is greater than just what is on the outside.

Believing these two truths are, from my inexperienced and unprofessional opinion, the first place to start: that my children actually do need parenting due to their selfish human nature coupled with the fact that my spouse and I are the ones called to parent them (after all, I birthed them which was quite the experience, let me tell ya). If I have a beginning point to recognize what the heck is happening everyday I can move on from there. Yep, there is a kid and I am, what, supposed to parent? I know that might be overly simplistic for some, yet this simplicity really does drive me deeper because it acknowledges the responsibility I have.

Parenting is like being given an empty computer hard drive which already has a virus (if that's possible) that we are responsible for programing. Unfortunately, it doesn't even matter if we are good with computers or not! We get to program a operating system anyway, a worldview complete with a culture, value-system, and basic survival skills in order for it to function (and hopefully go beyond just functioning in our world to being successful). Which brings me to my questions of today which made me start on this subject in the first place: What defines successful parenting? What defines a successful child? What are my parenting goals? So maybe, if I get around to it, I'll continue hashing out parenting with these wonderings in mind. Parenting: Step Two.

Cities I've been to

Apparently I have the travel bug today:

• Create your own travel map or travel blog


• Airline tickets comparison at TripAdvisor

Thinks I Like Recently

Some newer photos of Josiah:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=159165&id=521107253&l=d3824ab331


An awesome effort, my favorite cousin is up to:

http://brittanyfox.missionsplace.com/




A very well-written, humorous blog I have been following for parents. Its a great perspective which reminds me I am not alone:

http://momastery.blogspot.com




Cocompletely real, very funny, slightly vulgar post about a Washing Machine and sleep deprived motherhood:

http://dooce.com/2009/08/28/containing-capital-letter-or-two




Issues going on in the world of human trafficking of late:


http://www.ungift.org/ungift/en/stories/human-traffickers-exploit-economic-crisis-redoubled-prevention-efforts-urgently-needed-.html

Faith Enough to Seek Justice

Luke 18 (The Message)

The Story of the Persistent Widow

^1-3Jesus told them a story showing that it was necessary for them to pray consistently and never quit. He said, "There was once a judge in some city who never gave God a thought and cared nothing for people. A widow in that city kept after him: 'My rights are being violated. Protect me!'

^4-5"He never gave her the time of day. But after this went on and on he said to himself, 'I care nothing what God thinks, even less what people think. But because this widow won't quit badgering me, I'd better do something and see that she gets justice—otherwise I'm going to end up beaten black-and-blue by her pounding.'"

^6-8Then the Master said, "Do you hear what that judge, corrupt as he is, is saying? So what makes you think God won't step in and work justice for his chosen people, who continue to cry out for help? Won't he stick up for them? I assure you, he will. He will not drag his feet. But how much of that kind of persistent faith will the Son of Man find on the earth when he returns?"

A Social Problem: Stay-At-Home-Parent

This is one of the short essay discussions I did a couple weeks ago for the current class I am in, Social Problems in the workplace (SOC 402). Please note that for reading ease, I used the term "mom" but this would really apply to any male or female caretaker and guardian who does not work outside the home. This post is not intended to prove that this job is harder than any other or better than any other. It is only intended to bring awareness to that fact that being a stay-at-home caretaker is a difficult task which can be improved with society's help.

A Social Problem is defined by Lauer and Lauer as ". . . one whose causes and solutions lie outside the individual and immediate environment" (2008). Although being a Stay-at-home parent is not technically a paid job, anyone who has done it before can assure you that it is a very real job none-the-less. I became a Stay-at-home-mom because I didn't have a career job outside the home. It was not worth it for me to work because of the child-care/traveling/income differences just were not logical. I could work, but would it be worth it to have someone else raise my child, instilling their values and not necessarily able to give them the attention they might thrive in, just so I could have a couple thousand extra dollars a month I can do without (if even that much)? Although I often wish I could work part-time outside the home, I was content with this decision when we made it.

Now I am not so sure I am as content with this job. Why? Well, let's just say if I worked for a company in this job, I probably would have quit by now. I consider it a social problem because, firstly, it is a relational job. There is great social responsibility on my shoulders including taking care of kids/spouse, managing a household in which must respond to the repairman, teachers, insurance companies, etc..., and socially expected to act in certain ways towards people I should be involved with (such as volunteering, church, neighborhood, other moms, contacting family, etc...). I am my own manager in my own start up business. This "business," The Johnston Estate, does not make money in itself, but I keep it running smoothly so my husband, the bread-winner, can do so.


A large portion of America's children are raised by a family member who does not work. I read an article the other day, telling mom's to ask for help, that they weren't meant to raise their children alone. It was kinda going with the "it takes a village" theme, encouraging mothers to not be afraid of having their parents, in-laws, relatives, friends, and neighbors take some of the load. I thought that was sweet. Sweet and totally not possible. After all, who can I ask to "take my load?" With change in the economy and business, the workforce has moved to where there are jobs, whether it be in the city or the other side of the country. Extended family and life-long local friends don't always follow each other around, let alone life-long acquaintances like your pastor and dentist. My community has a population of 60,000; it is a community which didn't even exist as more than a few small farms 15 years ago. Very rarely do I meet anyone is from here. East-coast Americans do not typically sit on eachother's front porches drinking lemonade together, and neither do they ask the other neighbors for help if they have even met. I am luckily to live on a street which defies this status-quo, but its abnormal. I have a close church-family in my area too. Yet, for the typical mom in my area, there is no one.

All to say, I am aware of many moms who struggle with the difficulties of the task that is expected of them when help is just not there. Its easy for moms to become so stressed mentally and tired physically that they start to become less-than-mediocre in their childcare, and on occasion flat-out terrible parents. Or others deal with extreme depression due to being overworked, so much so they are not able to handle any other difficulties in life. I know a few moms who are suicidal because of the pressures they have on them, most which are not their fault. I also know many couples who have become separated for the same reasons, having too much to manage and without a local support network. These are not solely just personal problems, although the individual really can do more to help themselves. Yet these problems will not go away unless there is social help.

So, what makes this job so difficult? I might get help at my job from my spouse or friends, but I do not have time off (except when scheduled with my husband or babysitter for a few hours here and there). I work most of 24x7 hours a week. Although there are moments in my job I am able to sleep (like a firefighter can, still on alert for the siren to go off). Sometimes my job is very fun and enjoyable. But, can you imagine if your boss at XYZ INC. required you to work over 150 hours a week?

Monotony is another major issue. I do the same thing almost everyday. It can get very boring. I listen to my baby cry and my daughter babble mostly unintelligible words throughout the day. This is anything but stimulating. I can improve this situation by getting involved in as much as I can or trying to use any freer-time for stimulating activity. Yet still, there are days when I can't get out or do anything I find stimulating. In general, not having goals set from outside can be hard. Days, weeks, months turn into years and nothing changes much.

At a typical job, management gives incentives. You are rewarded with bonuses, pay-increases, have performance reviews, and often have general encouragement, and feedback. As a mom, you often only get negative feedback (Your screaming child does not say "thanks mom for changing my blow-out again" while the dirty floor and piles of laundry testify that you are a failure). Your spouse might encourage and thank you but that is not a guarantee, and it might not be often enough. There is little recognition for the countless tasks you do all day.


Awareness needs to be increased of the challenges of stay-at-home parenting through the media, as well as encouragement for those with careers to look at us as equal members of society (besides grandma talking about it at Thanksgiving dinner). From most of what I see, being a working parent is what is glamorized. I often feel that other people think something is wrong with me because I choose to stay at home. Maybe I am lazy, not able to handle working a real job and being a mom (Which is why those who work have daycare, its not like they can do it all either). Or others just assume I am not smart, educated, and underclass. It is true that I am just shy of receiving my Bachelor's degree yet, and it would be hard for me to find a high-paying job to make it worth me working outside the home. Yet, even if I did I know I would still be staying at home with my kids, at least until they are in school and I could work part-time elsewhere. Besides, the fields I enjoy working in the most are generally within the non-profit sector in which I would still not be able to make it worth it to pay for childcare from a financial perspective. Or on the other hand a stay-at-home mom can also both be looked at as too traditional or too hoity-toity, like a country club yuppie. Funny how all these perspectives of a stay-at-home mom of little children do not logically fit together. Can I be undereducated, poor, rich, snobby, and uber-traditional at the same time? Apparently. I don't consider myself uneducated, snobby, or having characteristics worthy of discrimination. Yet, the Stay-at-home is often looked at oddly. I guess this is typical to encounter some prejudice, as most are partial and skeptical of anything outside of their experience.

Ways to ease this social problem can first start with the spouses. Ideally, spouses should try to balance the workload rather than just using their off-work time for their own pleasure. The mom, whether working or not generally takes care of the lump of the household and childcare for whatever reason. The more the husband can help, I have no doubt the more he will like who his wife is as relieved of burden. Also, local friends and family members can exchange favors, taking turns watching eachother's kids. Although meeting trustworthy people is difficult when you are in a new place, challenging yourself to join a moms group, a church, and other organizations along with going out of your way to introduce yourself to neighbors and other moms at the park can go a long way. Even increasing encouragement in all forms is probably the best way to help us moms, especially moms with little children.

Communities/towns themselves, along with local organizations and churches should really go to greater effort to make support networks. Or if there already are, have ways to contact moms who are so secluded and depressed they don't look for help themselves. Catchy yet simple mailers, signs, door-to-door invites, or even articles in the HOA magazine can all be effective. Although this seems ridiculous to even myself, could the communities provide free quality babysitting services once a week for stay-at-home parents? Yes, that is ridiculous. But I know having babysitting services in my community are very appreciated. A local grocery store offers has a childcare center in it for those who are shopping. Our HOA provides very low-cost babysitting at our gym, something which many gyms in our area do. A break from your children for even just an hour can be a life-saver sometimes. I wish there was a way I could have my children be watched long-enough to get some paperwork done, take a nap, or have some time to just breath. Or even cooking a meal, or sharing the responsibility with another family is an amazing blessing. I am so thankful to my friends and spouse who give me this on occasion. Giving moms a little more help a long the way might be cheaper than waiting until they go crazy and have to take their kids from them. This might sound extreme, but I know that this is actually a reality for some moms who are not handling the pressure very well.

In conclusion, Stay-at-home mothering is a job in itself, with challenges and difficulties. Some of these can be eased by outside help. If you have the ability to help a mom with small children, on their behalf, I ask you to please do so. Often the mom is in denial that she needs help, so don't give her generic offers like "ask me for help sometime" because if you do it is almost guaranteed that she will not ask. Yet offer specifics instead. Offer to babysit a certain day so she can grab a coffee and read a book for an hour, ask her family for dinner a specific night of the week, or tell her you will come over at 11 a.m. the next day to talk with her while folding laundry. Do these things and you will make a very frazzled woman sigh and she will probably even give you a genuine smile.


References:

Lauer, R., & Lauer, J. (Eds.). (2008). Social Problems and the Quality of Life (11th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

PhilD41. (2009, August 12). Life Support for the Stay-At-Home-Mom. Hubpages. Retrieved August 12, 2009, from http://hubpages.com/hub/Stay-At-Home-Mother?utm_source=fb&utm_campaign=newsfeed

September Campaign

For my birthday consider giving to Charity: Water. The September Campaign has begun and I am lucky to have been born this time of year to be a part of it! One billion people don't have access to safe drinking water. I do. You do. But billion's don't. Jesus said that giving a drink to those who are thirsty is like giving Him a drink. I don't have any needs. Instead, I have been amazingly blessed. So on my birthday, can you join with me to give a little bit?

mycharity: water

Posted using ShareThis

The Targeted Objective

I went to Target the other day. Ironically, I was thrilled about going, although I knew deep down in the pit of my stomach that it would be a terrible disaster, as most prolonged shopping trips toting two tiny tots become. I know buying things shouldn't make one happy, but I have to say, the act of getting out of the house does make me happy. Sadly, in NOVA, the only locations a person toting the tiniest of kids can 'successfully' go to (at least on a rainy day) are only places you buy crap at (i.e., stores).

I planned well; I would try to quickly get the "essential" items done with and save browsing for what else I needed for later. Just in case. One of my main objectives was to get a wedding present for a couple we know. Yet, when I finally checked through the line, I realize I completely fell-short of reaching that main objective. Apparently the myriad of soap, juice, and toys around me forced me to forget. Mind you, so far I actually had successfully made it through the shopping trip. Of course Avi was hungry, tired and whinny while Josiah was on the verge of waking up hungry. But, I although I stood on the verge of said cliff, we had not yet fallen off. In fact, hungry children could maybe be used for my benefit: I could let Avi eat and scribble while I would fed Josiah in the adjacent food area. During these precious moments I could attempt to relax, sip my coffee contentedly and possibly even be able to read a few lines in my book! Yet such daydreams never last long enough. I woke up to the cashier handing me a receipt who's total did not include that all-important present. And, there were unhappy children in my cart.

Did this deter me? Oh no, I was in denial, not following wisdom's whisper. I still thought I could make it to that possibly relaxing dream in the stupid food court. So quickly I got their registry list, found something on it and a few other random things which I could make into a fun present, and went back to the check out.

Well, actually, it took me forever to find their registry for some odd reason. I am not too sure if it was because I was just not smart enough to know the names of my friends, or if it was because Avi kept running behind the return counter in hopes of playing it off as an employee to get a paycheck. And, "quickly" finding stuff wasn't as quick as quick is actually defined. To be more accurate, I would say that we moved faster than two kids and I generally do. Which, you can imagine, is not exactly quick or fast. So, by the second time at checkout, Josiah is screaming. Avi keeps running and disappearing down the aisles. Or she is throwing a tantrum while flinging herself out of the shopping cart (it doesn't help that she knows how to unbuckle her strap and has no fear of falling). In other words, I was the lady with THOSE kids. Whose kids really just needed some sleep, food, and in the case of the older one, maybe a good spanking.

To my dismay, the registry item kept showing up as not on the registry and as more expensive. While going "quickly" through the store the second time, I did take a moment to double check that I had the right thing. And the checkout lady also thought it was right, as we re-read the item description multiple times. Eventually we realized that I did get the right thing but the wrong size. You can imagine that at this moment I felt extreme dismay. Luckily, while noting my unhappy feelings, a profound idea hit me: to my left, hanging in perfect rows, were lovely plastic cards. Right then gift cards seemed like an answer from heaven to a question I refused to ask.

After all, I could have gotten them a gift card the first time I realized I missed my targeted objective at Target. I was bitter because I was so excited to give a REAL present of fun stuff; I had a creative idea for one! But I got them a gift card. And everyone was happy: My screaming children stopped screaming shortly afterwards, as I gave them food. My kids were happy, as were the people around us having to hear my kids cry. The newlyweds were probably even more happy with a gift card than actual presents. Everyone was happy but me. Go figure. Suck it up Elisa! One moment less of creativity on my part brought peace and happiness to many. These are the times I get what it means to put others interests before your own. But I wouldn't be surprised if I find myself in almost an identical situation next week. I easily fall into denial that everyone can't do what I want them too : )

FourThings I Recently Like

Understanding Stay-At-Home Moms:

http://hubpages.com/hub/Stay-At-Home-Mother?utm_source=fb&utm_campaign=newsfeed

Inglehart-Welzel Cultural Map of the World

Time and Time Again

I often catch myself trying to figure out how to jam everything I want to do in a space of time which is amazingly inadequate. "Tisk, Tisk- How to use my time today. . . ?" Yep. Where does it all go? What should I do with my limited "free time?"

Hum . . . do I actually have free time? This is my current question. And the debate begins: If the kids' nap time actually is when I am paying bills, shopping for things online and making household phone calls to the Dr. or county who screwed up the last tax payment.....is that really free time? Or when the kids go to bed at night, and I realize my husband and I need to spend time together . . . is that free time or is that time investing in the most important relationship I have with another human? And the same question applies to the time I use to write in my journal or read my Bible. Is that free time? Its my choice to use the time that way, but its something I need or I become empty and can't do the rest of my job. What about reading? I don't have to spend time reading a book. But I must stimulate my mind or I go crazy. I don't need to do anything creative like painting, writing or playing music. But maybe I do, because without that I am not my healthy self. These things make me come alive and an alive Elisa is much better than an internally dead one. Therefore that can easily affect everything and everyone in my world. Not only are others effected by time I spend improving myself, but obviously by the time I actually am spending with them (or not spending with them). So, although eating dinner with my friends might be fun, it is also time I am also investing into their lives, and time they are investing in mine. That sometimes that is not fun at all, and I might not have much of a choice about it. When is time with people free time and when is it not? And I don't need to watch a movies, but sometimes I need to be still and have mindless activity when I am so tired. But as that can be enjoyable, is it therefore free time? And is it my "job" or fun free time when I go to the park or pool or picnic with my kids? My job is to teach and lead them in the way they should go, and love them. Sometimes that also includes "fun" for me. Other times it is anything but fun, even if it at a fun place. I could go to the park with her in the morning and consider it work. I could go with her on a Saturday night, and as it is not the work week, is it then free time?

So, my question really is "What is free time?" A time where I don't have to do anything? Or is it a time when I am enjoying what I am doing? Maybe I just have time in general. Time that I have to use wisely. I have times where I have the chance to invest in myself or others that are not my kids. Not being responsible for children currently tends to define my free time. But free time is not a time void of responsibility. Time is responsibility on its own. My "free time" might end up be fun or not fun. Somewhere in me I believe I have the right to time free of responsibility in which I get to have fun. Yet reality is leading me to look at life differently. Instead of wondering when I can be free of responsibility and trying to decide how I can make myself the most happy during that time, maybe I should ask myself how I can have a best attitude with whatever amount of responsibilities I have at the moment. And I'd like to become better at knowing how to use the time I do have; focusing on others or spending time rejuvenating myself. The notion of free time is slowly fading. As it does I hope I become a better person as I don't delusionally cling to something I never had in the first place. Because, when it comes down to it, free time is an illusion.

These kids, this week.

Avi:

My darling little girl-

• Handed me a living flying ant she was apparently playing with.
• Decorated our banister by laying pens down on it, in a neat row.
• Decorated her arms with a permanent marker.
• Rearranged all the furniture in the living room she could (chairs, stools, rocking horse)
• Strep culture was negative! Yey!
• Figured out how to climb up the play gym in our backyard to slide down.
• Obeyed me! She was totally disobeying me multiple times. Finally I made her look at me directly and told her she was in big trouble if she didn't listen with my stern facial expression. She looked like she was thinking about it, could tell I was unhappy, and actually did what I asked! Discipline DOES pay off!
  
• Is getting good at telling us when she needs to do her number 2, but hates us actually doing something about it.
• Is ridiculously cute, good and naughty!
  

Josiah:

My handsome five week old-

• Has regularly been waking up every 2.5-4 hours at night, much more often than he had been doing. He also seems to believe 6am is wake up time. I am going to have to re-educate him on the way this household works! 9am, baby!
  
• Has become chubby in the last 1.5 weeks....He has rolls now on his arms and legs!
• Looks more like a 2.5 month old (to me, at least)
• Has been smiling a ton! He gets in these happy moments where he smiles like crazy.
  
• He likes to whine his way to sleep.

Avi Loves. . . (@21 & 1/2 Months)

hats
praying
family hugs
being swung by her arms
ice
water
playing with neighbors
stacking blocks
pretending to garden
playing chase + tickle
peep!

New Photos

Hi! I have finally gotten around to putting up some photos from Josiah's almost first full month of life. Check them out:

Josiah (First Month)

The Former or the Later?

I'm considering which of two possible versions I like better: "Lets go out a buy that new 60" Flat Screen HDTV I've been saving up for. Oh ya, let's get Cold Stone's Ice Cream on the way home- yummy!" VERSUS "Let's spend my valuable resources I am so lucky to have so I have an excuse to be lazier and waste more time . . . and let's get some ridiculously overpriced ice cream to make me fat while I'm at it!"

Hum, I'm pretty sure there is no debate- I like the former better. But I'm wondering how my world would change if I viewed the later as more accurate.

Adjustment

"You are a beautiful daisy. You have many tiny seeds. They are the future. Your children are your 1st mission field. You are a world changer and a diaper changer . . ."
~A Mothering Friend

I have been marveling that my fingernails are a millimeter long. I don't think they've been that long since I was four. Too busy to bite or pick. Hallelujah.

Today was AMAZINGLY beautiful outside. In general, it has been a wonderful world outdoors. My irises are blooming. It never ceases to amaze me that plants spring up from the ground out of no life and become bright shades of colors. Abet, mostly green. I just love color.

Josiah is a week old today. He did not like his first sponge bath. He is a handsome sleepy little man. But when he is awake he is takes the world in with alertness and softness. I like him a lot. He eats 2-3 hours around the clock, though at night sometimes he will do 3.5 hours. I long for the day when he will sleep through the night.

Avi is handling the new little brother well. She calls him "I-ah" and always tells him "hi" with great amounts of exuberance. She also likes to kiss him (i.e., try to crawl up on, or tackle without grace while extending pouting lips). Yet, she has also been very whinny and more tandtrumish. There is an aspect of jealousy for her mommy and daddy. Actually, she is probably getting more attention in general, though, with both of us at home, and daddy having to take care of her more when I am with "I-ah."

I am healing great, though I have been having alot of neck and back pain and its also difficult to walk or climb stairs. My milk is starting to settle into normalcy, and in general, my body is adjusting much better with this second baby. Josh has been having to stay home, in large part, mainly to help me carry Avi as I can't carry her or Josiah in his carrier. Hopefully my body will continue healing well this week, and I'll start to know how to handle two kids plus the household well enough so that He can go back to working at work.

Emotionally, I haven't been as "well." I was crying every five minutes by day three. Thankfully, the minutes between tears has been growing exponentially, and I do believe I haven't even cried one time today. So far. Thankfully Josh seems to have decided its one of his main goals to help me see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I think I am starting to. We WILL adjust, and we WILL survive, even thrive with two kids! In a few months I'll surely be so ecstatic about how well we are doing that I'll want to become pregnant again, asap! Okay, maybe that last one is more like the light of a train coming to smash me at the end of the tunnel than just the glow of the happy sun. But generally, I think my eyes are starting to focus more on the joy of this life-change as opposed to sleep deprivation and how overwhelming everything feels. Anyways, surely I'll forget that "we WILL adjust" in a couple minutes and start crying again, but hey, its a process.

Our Baby Boy is Born!

Hello! Our baby boy has been born!

At:
INOVA Loudoun Hospital Birthing Inn
In:
Lansdowne, Virginia
On:
May 11th, 2009
At the Time of:
3:57 p.m.
Weighing:
8 lbs. 1 oz.
Length:
19.5 inches long

And His Name Is:

Josiah Cory Michael Johnston

"The Lord gives his people strength.
The Lord blesses them with peace."
Psalm 29:11



(Labor progression Chart)

Baby Boy Johnston to Be Born

Tomorrow morning, around 7 am we will be going in to get induced and birth this little babe. Keep us in your prayers! Love and news soon,
elisa

No Little Man Yet

Today is Friday. The eighth. That, mind you, means it is three days past my due-date. Three days beyond the hoped for day. Three days more of carrying a huge mass inside. Could I get used to being pregnant eternally? Possibly. But it would be far from preferred. Three days might not sound like much. But, if you've been very immensely pregnant before you know how much that is. Avi was two days late, and although she was late, I was in labor from the end of her due date. In otherwords, I knew she was coming. Yet now, although little Johnny John Johnston still could enter this world tonight, I have no clue. I just wait. I wait biggly.

Who lied to us in the first place, declaring pregnancy to be only nine months? They sure seem evil, whoever they are! 40/4 really does equal 10. Ten months, yep. I CAN do math (sometimes). Of course, that isn't exactly counting those funky 5 week months, but who counts those when you are measuring in weeks anyways? They just want us to feel like its less time so we don't go crazy earlier. That way we are already nine months along (36 weeks) before we realize we actually have another month (at least) to go. And by then, the baby could be born at 37 weeks and we think "I can do one just more week!" And then the baby isn't born, so we think, "well, maybe this week...." and then its "well maybe next week..."etc.... Its kinda mean that they give us about 5 weeks we can deliver in. Five whole weeks of uncertainty and hope, of it being just dandy if that baby comes at any time. By the time the due date comes you've been thinking, "heck! I could have had this baby 3 weeks ago already!" Then who in blue blazes is going to want to stick around until week 42? No one! Nadie!

So, of course they will induce me on Monday if he still hasn't appeared. But I do not prefer that. I would prefer his body, my body, and whatever hormones that need to get going to create that perfect cocktail to kick this process into gear. I want those hormones to pour through out my veins crying "May-day, May-day . . . Free little human up! Free big mama up!" Or whatever those hormones say to get this going.

Honestly, there is so much to be thankful for. From having multiple nights left of good sleep, to having more time with my husband, daughter, my mom, and my good friends before baby is born. I have had to rest this week, which has driven me crazy doing so little, but its been good for me. Josh finished his class and final and has been able to not have to worry about that for a few days while baby still hasn't come. I've tried all those natural methods to get little guy out, and he is stubbornly set in (well not caster oil-yuck!). So in the meantime my skills in patience have been forced to grow, along with my trust in God that His timing is better than mine. After all, I probably would have had him at week 37 if it was my choice. So, in the meantime I still wait. I try not to be bitter as I wait. I try to happily wait being content in all situations. Em-hum. Cough. On that note, maybe I should take another walk and eat more pineapple now. Later!


(Video of Avi sliding)

April 25th- World Malaria Day

You can give $20 to provide a family with a malaria prevention kit (bed nets and education on the disease) at World Vision.

You can look at more facts and a map at http://www.rollbackmalaria.org/worldmalariaday/

Why should we try to prevent this disease? Well, firstly, it would really not be fun to catch. I knew a person who had it and barely survived. It really sounded like it sucks. So, if I was at risk for Malaria and couldn't afford something basic to help prevent it, I would really appreciate a rich American (yes, you live off of more than one dollar, two dollars, five dollars, or one hundred dollars a day . . . you are rich) sharing a little of what they have (forgoing a few Starbucks drinks or big macs) to help save my life. Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you, right?

But really, although I often am disgusted by rich americans (mainly, myself), I think we have a better reason to help someone than just for the sake of helping them. As a follower of Jesus, I represent Him on earth. He didn't command much (love God; love people)- but one thing He did say to do was to love people. Although the greatest needs people have are spiritual (and for me to best love people would be to help them find spiritual fulfillment in God), their physical and emotional needs are right in front of them. Our "felt" needs totally feel more important than our spiritual. So, sometimes helping people meet these needs helps them be open to meeting their spiritual needs. Jesus understood this, going out of His way to be an example of loving people by meeting their felt needs. Therefore, I should do what I can to help people know they are loved by God by acting on His behalf to feed, cloth, and comfort others. Especially when its in my means, I have no excuse whatsoever to not help others with their felt needs. Because in that case, the only thing I am giving up is having a different standard of life. Less Coldstone ice creams, less new sets of curtains, less new cell phones. All the stuff I think will make me happy. And it doesn't in comparison to seeing someone else smile because they now have a chance to live.

Earth Day for Evolutionists

I think this blog post is pretty interesting. Its really short, and presents a pretty valid (and therefore humorous) point about how celebrating Earth Day goes against the Darwinistic worldview, rather it only makes sense if you are trying to protect something you are given. Which, would be a theistic worldview. Anyways.

(Scroll down until you get to the post dated April 22nd):
http://www.str.org/site/PageServer?pagename=blog_iframe





"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

Avi at Twenty Months

Avilynne is now 20 months old. Whats new with her?

Avi can point to her:
-nose
-eye
-ear
-mouth
-hands
-feet
-belly (or baby)

Avi can say (That I can recognize):
-Nose
-Eye
-No
-Tractor
-Three, two, one! (she tries at least)
-Juice
-Hi
-All done
-Ball
-Book
-Balloon
-Strawberry
-More
-Mama/mommy
-Dada/daddy
-Jill
-DebDeb
-Repeats other names we
say (joyjoy, faith, stacy, grandma)
-Say her vowels in Spanish from the rhyme "a, e, i, o, u el burro sabe mas que tu"

Avi can sign:
-All done
-Yes
-Thank you
-More
-Food/eat
-Drink
-Hi/bye

Avi makes noises for these animals when she sees them:
-doggies
-kitties
-pigs (sounding semi demonic)
-cows
(And repeats our noises for these when we point to pictures of them):
-ducks
-birds
-snakes
-bears
-lions/tigers
-bees
-horses


Avi can:
-Blow her nose
-Smell things (candles, flowers, candy).
-Follow many of our commands (picking things up, handing things to us, throwing things away, going up or down the stairs, "Be gentle," etc...)
-Is aware of her bodily functions (Which she acknowledges verbally)
-Try to wash her hair/body, brush her teeth/hair, and put clips in her hair
-Understand a whole lot more that I give her credit for!
-Dance and move to the music pretty decently.
-Run like a girl.....wagging her hips and putting her arms out funny- oh my.
-Try to work it!

Avi likes to:
-Say hi to almost everyone.
-Flirt with men (and women too, but especially men).
-Kiss pictures of people. Most notably the construction workers, emergency workers, and babies in a books we have.
-Stick her fingers in her ear and sing when she is done eating at the table.
-Whine or yell when she doesn't get her way.
-Answer most questions with"no" (Ex."Do you like to obey daddy and mommy?" "no!")
-Sing notes (and now we are starting to recognize songs)
-To eat chocolate, but not too many other deserts. She likes chips.
-Be tickled!
-Play with her ball and look at her books with us.
-Go outside to explore and observe the world.
-Take baths and in general, just to play in water.
-Say "cheese" when she sees a camera while making a silly grin.
-Play with the neighbor kids and kids at church.
-Make a lot of noise and yell in the car (especially if its been more than 20 minutes).
-Try to get away with touching the computer and climbing on the couch arms/back.
-Play with the metal dish scrubbers for whatever reason.
-Run REALLY far away in stores. She doesn't have qualms about being far away from me.
-Have anything to do with shoes. She likes to find them, put on hers, put on yours (on you and her), chew on them, move them . . . She is pretty much obsessed with shoes. Oh no.

Preggo Update

I am still pregnant. I am trying not to be jealous, as my friend had her baby a week early today. Yesterday, a woman I know had her baby three weeks early (she was due after me). And, another friend of mine might get to have her's early too even though she is due a week after me (although, that is because she might have to get a c-section of which I am really NOT jealous of). I am out! Or probably not, as I will have this baby by the 11th of May at the utmost latest (according to my Doctor). And, it is much more likely I will go before May 5th, as this is my second baby. Really, if I am jealous, I am jealous of possibly two weeks less of being able to sleep through the night. There is no reason I should hurry away my sleep- I love sleep! So thank you God I still haven't had this baby because that means one more night of peace!

I have been feeling very out of sorts all weekend: jittery, heart-pounding, somewhat nauseous, trouble focusing with my eyes (And my mind!), extremely swollen feet/legs (which went away as I laid down a lot), and a slight to extremely bad headache. In case you don't know, these all happen to be the most common symptoms for preclampsia, a high blood pressure issue that happens in pregnancy which is very dangerous. I get symptoms like these with my migraines, too, though, which makes me skeptical I actually have a problem going on. Generally, though, my migraines follow a pattern that is pretty distinguished, unlike how I felt this weekend. So, as to avoid being sent to the hospital to get checked out (which I knew would happen if I called the Dr.), I took my blood pressure at those little booths in the pharmacy sections at grocery stores. It said my blood pressure was higher than typical, but it wasn't crazy. Hence, I continued sleeping or laying down very pathetically most of the weekend.

So, this morning I called the Dr. when the office opened. Sure enough, they wanted to see me. They did the typical tests, the blood pressure, pee-test, checked the baby's heart rate, etc... For the most part, it was all well. But, of course, little did I know but you can still have preclampsia and it only show up in blood work. And besides, I shouldn't be feeling this way, so they should monitor the baby. Hence, despite all my work to avoid the hospital, guess where they sent me? Yep! So, after calling around, finding someone to watch Avi (thank you Becky!) I got to be tested all over again in the hospital the rest of the morning and early afternoon. And, nope, nothing amiss with my blood work and the baby happily kicked its way through an hour of being monitored. Actually, it was somewhat relaxing, which was good because otherwise I surely would have been chasing Avi wishing I could go back to bed. I am not complaining. I am just slightly annoyed I had to go through that for nothing. Conclusion: my blood pressure is a little higher than normal, yet I do not have preclampsia. Take Tylenol and if my headache persists, please call the Doctor again (yey, so we can do the whole process one more time!).

I am still one centimeter dilated and the baby's head is still "whoa! Its right down there, I can feel it!" (according to my nurse practitioner). So, at 38 weeks, I am the same as I was last week, minus the extreme energy and feeling mostly crappy.

Surprise Baby Shower

I must say, I was extremely impressed with the baby shower that was thrown for me this Saturday. I don't think I ever have had a surprise party, so it was a new experience along with just being totally fun. I kept thinking that morning that life was just too good, and that I should appreciate all the goodness I had been blessed with while things still are "good." And that was before the shower!

Josh and I had a great morning together, I got to sleep in, take a shower while Avi was awake, and I just chilled out upstairs with a glass of juice and bowl of strawberries Josh brought me. He purposefully kept me upstairs, and I completely just thought he was being all nice giving me a break from Avilynne. He brought me my journal and Bible just to chill out next to the sunny window to spend time with God. He told me we were going to eat brunch together and he had arranged for Jill to watch Avi. When I eventually came downstairs, I realized we weren't eating brunch at home and kinda wished I did my hair or put on makeup. But, hey, at least I had taken a shower!

I thought it was odd that we were going to drop Avi off a few doors down together, when one of us could wait in the car. And why weren't we locking to house door? He didn't want me leave my purse on the car, even though I figured I could still see it from Jill's doorway. But, hey, I am a risk taker (often needlessly) so I brought my purse with me after all. Jill had me come in, and then I saw a cake and all this delicious food. I was like "Oh my goodness....its a surprise party for me- I think! But I'm here early as there is no one else here." I was then ushered towards the living room and I saw everybody hiding in the corner. They were all happy and I was all embarrassed for some reason while totally thrilled and happy. My initial thoughts were that they invited Abbie, a teenager who I mentor as well as girlfriends who weren't just from church, which I thought was cool. I just was impressed that whoever invited people invited people I'd want to come, not just people from one area of my life.


Anyways, I was starving by this point, and there was an amazing spread of breakfast casseroles, the most awesome sweet french toast (of which everyone was begging Tori for a recipe), strawberries and homemade whipped-cream, and all sorts of other beautiful and delicious foods. It was soooo very "ummy" (as Avi would say)! And then there were all these nice people around me who wanted to talk and be baby-showerishy-girl-like (though not awkward too dressed up baby-showerishy-girl-like). Deborah, Jill and Becky did an awesome job putting it together. There were all these games, from measuring my belly to guessing the time when an ugly plastic doll was "born" (meaning the ice defrosted around it into water), and a questionnaire about me and another one about nursery rhymes. I personally was entertained and I didn't even get to play half of the games : )

Then, of course, there was a massive plethora of presents which I was totally not expecting. Long ago I had come to the conclusion I wasn't going to have a shower, and so have just been assuming I had to get whatever we needed for a boy. It was very happy, though, to receive all these gifts, mostly the type of stuff which I won't buy myself as its not "necessary" such as extremely cute clothing or baby blankets or "rocket" stuff which I was totally impressed people found. I was really surprised by all the gifts I received, and, thankfully, I really liked them too. They were beyond tractors and footballs, to my glee!

Apparently, I had made it pretty difficult on the people putting it together. Deborah moved her car on Saturday morning because she told me she was going to be gone and wouldn't be able to hangout. That was smart on her part because I actually looked for her car to see if she was home and could hangout after all. I went with Becky to Costco on Friday, where she had to pick up the cake. She hid it in her cart, but didn't know how to get it in her car without me seeing it. So, she arranged a whole complicated pick-up with our other friend Amber which seems like it was just too much work to be worth it. That night I was really bored so I hungout at jill and stacy's. Yet, that kept Jill from being able to get anything done like she had wanted to because I was around (really, someone did say I should join them playing rockband, so it wasn't entirely a self-invite). I thought it was weird Deborah came in dropping stuff off, acting odd and freaked out that I was there. She told me she was bring stuff for the Needs Network, which later I noticed was only three pairs of socks. Um....I am pretty sure it doesn't take two trips between our houses for her three pairs of socks.

I was somewhat suspicious because of that. Almost two weeks ago Becky also made a comment to me, trying to keep me from buying diapers. I didn't get why because she was saying maybe people would give them to me. And I said, yes, maybe they would after the baby was born, but I would need diapers ASAP. I was trying to figure out why I should bother counting on someone else to give me diapers who knows when, when I really didn't want to have to stop at a store on the way home from the hospital. She thought I should wait a week before I bought some. I was kinda suspicious then that maybe she was having the other girls in our lunch group do presents or something for me, yet nothing big. But as nothing happened after her comment I had totally given up on the idea. But then on Friday night the possibility that maybe someone was trying to surprise me came up again; this was more so in a way in which I'd just keep my eyes open for other clues. It wasn't something I suspected or expected at all, especially not late Saturday morning.

I really like being surprised. I really enjoy being with people. I love eating good food. I don't mind getting presents in the slightest. I was very impressed by how put together and how nice the shower was, especially with me having no clue and it being put together so close to the end of my pregnancy. In generally I guess you can say I really felt loved by the whole ordeal. And who doesn't like to feel loved? Ahhh....my heart is bursting with affection! Thank you so much, guys!

Baby Registry

For those of you who have been wondering what we could use or like for baby number two, you can look on the baby registry that I have up (link below). We don't have a lot of essential items we need, as we are blessed to have many things already that we can re-use from Avilynne or that I have picked up here or there. I will continue updating it when we receive similar items that are on the registry.

Baby Registry

I can't believe I am really full-term now, at 37 weeks! It might be three, even four weeks yet before you hear from me that Mr. Baby Johnston is born. But, it could be tomorrow, too! I am pretty sure the baby dropped lower a few days ago. Although "lightening" doesn't typically occur in second pregnancies until labor, something totally changed which sure feels like it dropped, it least to an extent. He isn't in my rib cage as much, making it easier to breath. Yet he is a lot lower, pressing on my very low back and other down there areas which is sometimes very painful. Although pregnancy isn't comfortable, I am trying to have a positive view that at I can still sleep through the night without nursing, and I don't have to take care of two crying children yet!

Compliments

I received two compliments this week which have meant a lot to me. One was that a girl who teaches music went out of her way to tell me that she thought I had a very beautiful voice. That was just nice to hear as I want a beautiful voice. Sometimes I think I have one, yet other times I get stuck on the parts of my voice (or control, tone, vibrations, etc....) that aren't so good. As I am not very involved with music anymore I rarely get feedback on how I sound. So, that was just a nice unexpected compliment.

Secondly, a man who goes to our small group Bible study told me I have the ability to say the perfect thing. Let me explain a little background about why this means something to me. Our discussions within our small group sometimes aren't the best. I naturally talk more, and can easily get caught up in an unimportant discussion dealing with Biblical facts. I've been really trying hard not to do this, as we don't need more knowledge. Our goal is to know God more and connect with the people in the group. Hence, I've been trying to only say stuff which will make someone else's point or fact make more sense to others in the group who could care less. Either that, or ask questions or talk about concerns that can make whatever we are talking about make more sense in the context of our lives. I don't always do the best at this, but I try. I am always very aware of people's body language, tones, or the dynamics going on within conversations. Hence, I often find myself naturally acting as the diplomat, bridging between people from what I perceive is going on. Although I tend to do this automatically, in our small group I've been really making effort to do so in hopes that I make our group better as opposed to worse. Sometimes I wonder if there is any point to all of this, if there is any point to when I am aware of how people are. If there is any point to saying things I hope will start to bring them full circle, connecting with others, God, or understanding themselves more. So when this man spent a little less that five of his minutes to explain to me about how much it helped him when I made comments, it meant a lot to me. He told me how he felt like I understood him and could make what other people said understandable to him. He told me that when I prayed in our small group, it was real to him, it actually made sense and he could agree with it. He said I have a huge gift by being able to understand people and communicate between them. Or something to that effect :). All to say, what he said really was a confirmation to me that I was doing something purposeful. Whether I am just there for people in conversation, getting together with them, studying how people work in books I read and classes I take, and just encouraging others . . . its a good thing! As these things are a major part of my life (most of my life, actually) it was just so nice to hear confirmation that there is a point behind it. Although there is no good definition for what it is that I do, what I do is important. If nothing else, I had the privilege of making one individual more comfortable, feel more loved, and helped Him know God a little bit more.

A Few Pictures

These are pictures from my parents visit here at the beginning of March. I already miss them a lot! Many of these pictures were in Annapolis, MD. Click on the link below to see them:

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/sredir?uname=edfamly&target=ALBUM&id=5319578121050427761&authkey=Gv1sRgCPCFlK_m0ryuxQE&feat=email

Done with #1

Yey! I got an A! I finished my first class at Ashford last week and I just received my grade and three credits. Only 36 credits more to go (12 classes) . . . But its the process of learning that is the joy, right? Not the degree? That's what I am telling myself, at least! After all, I did enjoy this class. I was able to be introspective, thinking about who I am, where I came from and where I am going. I had fun analyzing various theories, seeing if I really agreed with them (and if so, looking at where they apply). I discovered I should have 4 or more kids if I want a better chance to live to one hundred. And, I have been validated by science that having a strong "religious" belief will help me deal with grief, death, and life much better. If anything, I have figured out "adulthood" to a greater degree, which makes me feel like I better understand people. Now that this class is done, I have slightly less "deep" things to consider, such as cloth diapers (if you read my last post). Maybe I need to be in another class ASAP!

Going Cloth

I have been obsessively reading about cloth diapers of late. I know, I know. It is such a time waster. And I know, I know, cloth diapers are "gross." Still, all that time wasted has convinced me that I want to use them. I already considered using them with Avilynne, but I just never got far enough to go for it. I tried gDiapers for awhile (part cloth, part disposable), but it took more time as I had to separate the washing parts from the disposable parts. And, the disposable parts clogged the toilet. It wasn't convenient. And, it would have ended up being slightly more expensive.

Yet, here I am at playing babies round two. I have a fresh chance to try them out again. Although cloth diapers has a starting out cost, it pays for itself within six months. I would save at least $1000, if not closer to $1500 with my son, if I don't use disposables. And, if they wear well, I can reuse them with other children. In that case, saving about $2000 (more or less) in the future per child as long as the diapers last. Of course, they aren't going to last forever, and who knows how many more kids we will have, anyways. But, it COULD not just save us money with Baby #2, but sequential children from here on out.
After all, It is amazingly better for the environment. Economic. Environmentally kind. And they have fun colors and designs! Really! Why wouldn't I want to do cloth diapers?!!

Well, there are the obvious reasons. Can it really be convenient? Can other people besides me handle cloth diapers? Isn't it more messy, nasty, and Stinky? Isn't it EXTREMELY anti-American!? Its counter-cultural! After all, It doesn't help the big market companies out, and gives into the planet-saving cult of money-making-organic-swooning-opportunists! Then there are the deeper issues: Will my friends and family reject me because of my odd decision to "go cloth?"

As I have been wrestling with these questions, I am becoming convinced that the pros still outweigh the cons. For example, they are much more convenient than they used to be. You don't have to fold them. You don't have to pin them. Heck, you don't even have to use "fitteds" with diaper covers! You can just use one piece, just like a normal disposable. Use a cloth wipe, so you don't have to separate the "throw away" from the keepable pile. Instead of throwing the dirty lump into the diaper genie, you throw it in the diaper pail. Instead of emptying the stinking diaper genie 1-2 times a week (gagging in the process), and going out to the trash with it . . . you just dump the contents of the pail in the washer every couple days. Of course, your probably still gagging : ) But, this makes cloth sound so smooth and ideal! Of course, it won't be. When is anything ideal? I have no doubt that it will be a learning curve until we get the swing of it. Then it will be ideal!

There is also the process of hoping the cloth diapers you have chosen are the best ones for your kid. Because, if not, there are consequences. Not all cloth diapers are equal, and some are better at different stages. After all, sometimes Pampers worked better for Avi. Then other times Huggies did. Sometimes the cheap brand, Loves, did also. But I never had a storebrand which worked well with her. But some people I knew could use kirland's or walmart's with no problems. So, although disposables have the same issue, if I realized she was blowing out all the time, I could always buy a new box of diapers. I might lose a good $5, $10, or even $20. But as the expense of disposables is gradual, it wasn't that big of a deal. Whereas, if I buy the wrong cloth diapers, that would be a lot more of a problem.

Hence, my plan is as follows: We will start, as a newborn, in disposables. They are in them for just a few weeks anyways, and if I used cloth for a newborn I'd have to buy a ton of them for that time period. Besides, I need to "move into" cloth. Not starting cold turkey. After the first month or so I will transition. I am collecting an assortment of the best-reviewed cloth AIO diapers and one-size Pocket diapers to have on hand. I plan of not buying enough of these, so that I can choose what works the best on him and then buy more of that brand/style. Still, I will only have a portion of those being the ones I particularly think are perfect, as I am getting quite a few now to try out. And I still plan on using all of these, whether they are the "best" for my kid or not. Besides, what might be best at the beginning will probably not be best later on.

There are two styles I am planning on using. One is the "AIO," which is an all-in-one diaper (breathable waterproof on the outside, while soaking up on the inside nice and softly). These are just great. They are convenient; they are no different than disposables. Well, except you don't trash them, obviously. Even though they are all-in-one, if all else fails and they don't soak up enough and leak, there is a place where you can add an extra liner to take care of these problems just in case. The only draw-back is that you have to buy these in multiple sizes, throughout the kids diaper-career. I.e., they will cost more. Still, as I won't be using extra small, and by toddlerhood I'll be working on potty training, I might only need two sizes. But, this is still a drawback for me.

The other type is a one-size diaper. These are awesome because you only need one set of these for the whole time your child is in diapers. They have all these snaps and adjustments to go from a 5lb. baby to a 35lb. child. Kinda like a car-seat : ) Of course, they will fit better sometimes more than other times. On a newborn, they would be extremely bulky. But hey, they are convenient if you have two kids in different size diapers wearing them (I plan on experimenting with them on Avi for my own entertainment). They bring the cost down in the long-run, and keep you from having to try to find what diaper fits today and which one doesn't. You just adjust the snaps or Velcro until it fits, because, it will (It Better!). They make these very nicely, and are almost as easy as AIOs. But they aren't as easy, though, as they are generally pocket diapers. A pocket diaper is the second most convenient type of cloth diapers. They have the whole diaper together (waterproof, and soft soaking layer) just like the AIOs. Yet, the AIOs only use inserts if you really need them. Pocket diapers need to have inserts put in them or you'll regret it. The main reason they keep them separate is that they dry much sooner when they are separated, and another reason is....I have no clue. Surely there is another reason. They wash better? They have longer lives that way? You can adjust how much wetness they hold? True, but you can already do that with an AIO. For all I know, they might be just as easy to use as an AIO, at least putting them on they would be. But I am more confused how this works when you take them off, do you actually have to take out the liner then, separating the parts to wash? Or can you just keep the liner in when you wash it? I don't know. But I do know that I will be trying these two types of diapers as I think they are the best type of cloth diapers.

Generally, I have confidence that the styles I am getting are the best after doing a ton of research. After all, their reviews are great, and are acclaimed as easiest. At least they will work if not be best, right? As of now I think I will like the BumGenius ones the best, although Thristies, Fuzzi Bunz, Kushies, and Happy Heines (among others) are some of the types I am trying. If I like a certain brand, I'll probably try just using the homemade copies from ebay of the more expensive brand names. If any of you are cloth diaper users, I would appreciate your thoughts and feedback. As I am ambitiously striving to go cloth, and become part of your cult, I need that wisdom! Afterall, I live in one of the richest counties in one of the richest countries in the twenty-first century! I am too privileged to know how to move forwards by going 'backwards' by using what is normal to the majority of other countries and thousands of years of generations. Go cloth!

(Note: If I regret this decision in the future, kindly try to not rub it in my face violently)