Christmas Thoughts

I have felt slightly stressed about Christmas. The travel plans were especially the problem, but now that is seeming more hopeful as josh and I decided we want to make each other happy and be good together as we try to travel with a toddler and an overworked person and a mono-infested 20 week pregnant person. Yes, much more hope! In fact, we might even have a tentative plan (that is pretty impressive for us... really impressive).

Presents are another stressful part of Christmas. I realized mid-week that if we leave at the end of this week, I should figure out Very Very quickly what I will do about Christmas presents.

I love giving presents and getting presents. Really. Its nice. Honestly, though, I hate feeling forced to get a present for someone when I don't have an idea what to get them, or just because I have to. I like giving presents when I feel like they will like it, its not just something that must be given so I will find some crap to give them just for the sake of it. As that is the case, I generally don't want to give presents to whoever I can't find the right present for. Which doesn't leave me much time as I generally forget its near Christmas until its near Christmas. Or that its some one's birthday until the day of their birthday. Even if they are my closest friend or family member, I personally would prefer to not give anything than it not be the RIGHT thing. This doesn't always work, because socially sometimes I can't get over the "not giving" a present to whom I feel I MUST give a present to. And so I do give something to them that they'll probably re-gift next year. And then I feel I wasted money (because I did). Yet I am starting to come out of that and am believing that its okay if I don't get a present for whoever. That's WAY less stressful. Its just stuff anyways, right? Oh wonderful stuff. Yet, in reality, finding the "perfect" gift for someone is such a happy happy thing. I love that. Therefore, its almost worth it to spend all my time finding the "perfect" gift for the few people I would like to get presents for.

I also don't really feel the need to spend a lot of money. Unless I really believe they will love it. But still, if that is the case, I would probably only spend that on my husband as I don't have very much free money to spend on gifts. But, even if I did spend a lot for my husband, he'd probably get mad at me for spending a lot of money on something that isn't what he absolutely needed even if he wants it really bad. He's so funny. Therefore, I almost never ever do that (and don't think I ever have). And hence this paragraph is officially pointless.

I do get sick by the "I deserve" a present mode. Christmas consumerism makes me sick. I greatly enjoy staying away from stores and TV this time of year. I mean, I like presents. I want them, though I am okay with not having a ton. Generally when I do expect gifts I only expect them from close family or friends. And since they are my close family, I feel like they have the right to not give me a present also because we are supposed to be very understanding and I don't want them to get me crap just cause they feel like they have to. Because then they would feel like how I hate to feel, and besides, I don't need crap. Last year my parents gave me a small ethnic rug. It was a nice rug, I liked it. I thought that was all they gave me. Part of me was slightly sad, because if I got a bigger present, it would be from them. But the other part of me was happy that they didn't feel the need to give me something. And I liked that even more than I felt sad. Later, I found out they also gave me a gift-card to get a whole bunch of new clothing. It must have gotten lost in the wrapping and was thrown away. A waste, very true. But all to say, it was a good thing because I was happy thinking that they knew they didn't have to do something special because its Christmas and we are forced to give gifts then.

I like being able to give freely, not forced. Of course, this is my husband's worldview, which drove me mad in the first couple years of marriage. But I think I might be adopting it (though I don't think I can fully do so). I love it that he gives me flowers all year long, but heck, can't you give me flowers on Valentine's day too even though it is forced on you? But maybe I agree, even if I don't fully always like it.

I guess to me Christmas is more of a season than one day. And that season is wonderful because of the people in it, the smells, lights, foods, and music associate with it. I like the traditions that go with it, especially the "religious" ones, as some would call them. I love the nativity story and I hope that the joy of that is passed to my daughter, the joy of the "light of the world" as opposed "I deserve gifts" because its Christmas. Knowing how to do gifts with my kids is a whole new territory I am not too sure I want to set a standard in. I love the fact that my Grandmita never sets a standard with gifts. Sometimes she gives large gifts. Sometimes she sends a card. It reduces the expectation that "I deserve" a gift from her, and it makes it so much more real and heart-felt. I might want to do that with my children. Yet, on the other hand, getting a "big" present once a year like a bike or a doll house was wonderful too, because when else would I ever get something like that? Its an opportunity to give something large and make my kid happy. Yet, the values and expectations I want my children to have has nothing to do with getting presents, so therefore giving to them becomes a fine balance between loving them (which sometimes comes out in the form of giving to them), not spoiling them, and really, teaching them how to love others and be thankful for the blessings they have.

Chinese-ish

I've been violently craving Chinese food of late.

Yes, I crave food typically. Ice cream is always good, as is shrimp (especially with steak). When pregnant I have craved goldfish crackers, cookies, peppermint-coffee drinks, and many other delicacies such as dirt. But I have never craved food with such desire until this week. On Monday, I smelt a whiff of Chinese food, and I pretty much thought I would die if I didn't have any.

I remedied that by having pepper-beef with fried rice, a clementine and an egg-roll. Yet, the craving still hasn't left. I've made my favorite Jotza' (however that's spelled), the fried wantons in spicy chill-paste and soy-sauce). Now I am tempted to cook up some Hunan Chicken, which I have no clue how to make, let alone barely know what it tastes like.

Everything I smell reminds me of China. I was so excited that Chinese restaurant I went to (which we deemed "Cheap Chinese") actually smelt like China. It had the Chinese spices; they were there! They had to be! Mixed with the smell of whatever they cleaned their tables with, it totally smelt like China. Deborah (the chick who lives with us) gave me a cardboard box (how nice of her....j/k....its pretty for wrapping) which has a perfumy smell of various spices. They are more middle-eastern, yet I am sure there is a slight bit of China-smell in the box. I cooked sausage today, I walked into a room yesterday, I held Avi and.....they all freakin' smell like China! Of course, maybe I shouldn't be so surprised. After all, my nose is mostly plugged from my sickness and I have a great imagination.

Last week I read a semi-unhappy book that took place in China. It really had very little too do with China, it was more about a crappy mother/daughter relationship. But the parts that were about China, describing it made me miss that side of the world. When the door was left open the other day, I could hear our Vietnamese neighbor children playing outside. Yes, I realize that although they are Asian they are still not Chinese. But, really, their language is MUCH more Chinese sounding than our own. And hence, it just gave me the feel of being in another country, hearing the sounds outside the windows. It brought up all these happy feelings. I just got a mailer a few minutes ago for Chinese food which had a beautiful classic Chinglish quote on it: "All Special Included Eggroll." Lastly, a good friend of ours is visiting all over China, Hong Kong, and Taiwan this month. Her updates and pictures are great.

All to say, maybe these things are contributing to my food-cravings. Whatever the reason, though, China (not Georgia) is on my mind.

Random

• I heard an entertaining view-point the other day. A little boy was talking to his parent in Target: "Dad, did you know that Michael Phelps is the son of Barrack Obama? No, really, I am serious! I heard it....."
• Avi loves the Christmas tree. She's only pulled it on top of her once so far, but hey, we still have the rest of December for such antics! Her favorite ornaments are these red sparkly balls, that luckily aren't breakable. On the other hand, I broke two ornaments in a matter of seconds. No fair.
• I want to see this: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2008/scream.bloody.murder/
• I get to go to the Dr., yet again, today. Fun fun!
  
• I do not like Tiramisu Coffee Creamer.
  

World AIDS Day

Some People Don't Have a Choice . . .

Today is World AIDS day and the first day of World AIDS month (go figure the day is the first day of the month). I am collecting caregiver kits on behalf of an organization, World Vision, to help out those with AIDS in other countries. These kits go to helping whoever who is taking care of an AIDS patient, its basic stuff like antibacterial soap and latex gloves. I have a small goal, to make 10 kits, but in reality getting people to help provide the materials for that many is hard to do. If you live near me and are interested in picking up stuff for a kit next time you go to Walmart, I provided a list at the bottom of this post. I will probably mail them out next week, so please get them to me before then.

In many places around the world, whole families are ransacked by AIDS. This is sickening, the whole culture of the people revolves around surviving with AIDS in their community. Its an epidemic of sort, only realized in the USA not too long ago, 1981. It is not limited to homosexuals, as some assume. It spreads often because people are either in denial of it, or they don't know enough about it. All to often children become the caretakers of their families because their parents have died from the virus. Famine, poverty, and rape all have roots within it. Jesus was concerned about the sick and the poor, and hence we should too. Just today, since midnight, 3800 children have already been orphaned because of the virus (estimated). One hundred of those just since I have been on the computer. And its not the end of the day yet! Approximately 6000 children are orphaned daily because of it. Although the majority of those with HIV are adults, 2.5 million children are also infected with it. If you don't know much about AIDS, its worth spending 5 minutes of your time learning about, if nothing else but to be thankful for your non-HIV infected self and to harvest some compassion for the 33 million people wake up to the reality of AIDS daily. Here are a few links:

http://www.avert.org/world-aids-day-quiz.php
http://media.worldvision.org/getinvolved/aids_experience/index.html
http://www.wvexperience.org/learn_crisis.asp

Also, if you'd like to help me with a caretaker kit, here are the ingredients:

Thank you for assembling Caregiver Kits! Each item that goes into the kit(s) you assemble helps
empower local caregivers to provide safe and compassionate care for people living with AIDS.

1 storage container (12-qt. plastic sweater box with lid)
1 notebook (80- to 100-sheet)
4 pens
1 container of petroleum jelly (13 oz.)
3 bars of antibacterial soap
1 box of disposable gloves, latex only* (50 or 100-count)
4 colored washcloths
1 flashlight
2 batteries for flashlight
1 tube of antifungal cream (Clotrimazole or Miconazole brands only*, 1 or 2 oz.)
1 bag of cotton balls (200-count)
A handwritten card to encourage the caregiver who receives the kit

*Please purchase latex gloves only and be sure the antifungal cream is one of the two brands listed.
These items have proven to be most effective in caring for people living with AIDS; please do not
substitute other brands or types of products as they may need to be removed from the kits and replaced.

(cost approx. $25 at a drugstore, unless you buy contents at a local discount store).